If At First, You Don't Succeed, Try Getting a Better Hair Weave

No matter what you think of her "music," you kind of have to admire Britney Spears. Rarely in our society have we seen such dedicated train-wrecks. Fresh off the heels of her VMA performance, she's now actively considering appearing at the Emmys on Sunday, as an "apology" for the three and half minutes of cringeworthiness that was the VMAs:

Check out US magazine's take here.

Now, I will wholly reserve judgment on whether this is a solid plan. My only question is to/about her handlers: from her choreographer to her lawyer. Clearly, they are either collectively brain-dead, if they think they have been helping her career over the past few months, or they are absolute geniuses: getting paid like they're helping her out with none of the responsibility of actually working.

Hence, I say to you, Britney's handlers, can you hook a sista up with a job? Please? This is an awesome racket, and I too am totally qualified to consistently steer a pathetic person in the wrong direction.