HEADLINES:
Oh Yeah? Well I bet he can't tie his shoes.
If the open sores, rotting teeth and horrid stench aren't enough.
Hot New Technology
Another Place Where the Beef Is Not
Today's Euphemism: Not Petite = Your Underwear Has Enough Metal to Set Off Security Checkpoints
I Counter Your Silver Spoon with this Aluminum Fork.
NEWS QUIZ:
The merit badges earned in the Boy Scouts of America:
(a) are Made in China;
(b) contain unsafe levels of lead;
(c) are lame;
(d) all of the above.
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