Saturday, August 11, 2007
"Opening spaghetti sauce jars has been a problem. That was a big surprise."
Read here about a guy who shaved off a portion of his thumb bones in order to have easier use of his Iphone.
Extra! Extra!
Are you trying to tell me that deporting the labor force will have a negative effect on the economy?
Not to be an alarmist....
But when you can't count on your virtual bank, maybe it's time to bury a mason jar full of cash in your virtual backyard.
Friday, August 10, 2007
The Facebook Generation Gap
The Democrats show their true colors...
"It's a sort of a blue-ish green-ish red-ish, purple-ish" -- well, shit. I don't know either.
My date last night was all "fake and staged"
I was expecting a very high level of emotional sincerity.
Welcome to the World of Tomorrow!!
What jobs will be in high demand in the future? Here's what you should have majored in while you were in college.
Dogs and Cats living together = Mass Hysteria
In our continuing theme regarding the pending Apocalypse, those of this world and of the next unite for the final battle.
Don't Look Like a Toolbag
In our continuing attempt to boost your fragile self esteem, we present the top 10 ways to look like a toolbag.
More Robots!
Thursday, August 9, 2007
2008 (tentative) Primary Schedule
God Have Mercy on the state of Iowa. The plague stops there first.
The First of Many
With this announcement, I foresee uncontrollable excitement from at least one editor in our ranks.
Even Matt Foley would be jealous
Just in case you need a little confidence boost, sacred or profane.
We Introduce Godtube
As if Youtube wasn't annoying enough, some crazy fundies have unleashed Godtube on the world.
Guide to Youth Drug Slang
Feeling a little out of touch with the younger generations? Here's a handy guide to the dark world of teen drug slang.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
A Public Service Announcement:
We'd like to take a moment to introduce our very good friend, Dr. Dino, aka Kent Hovind.
And just for the record, there is no way this guy is a wacko. His principled refusal to pay taxes has no effect whatsoever on his qualifications as the world's premier Creation Science Evangelist.
Here is a short interview with Dr. Hovind by one of Britain's premier journalists. Here is a short summary of this brilliant man's belief system.
Surely He Who Watches While You're In The Shower will have mercy on this humble servant and get him out a bit early.
Stroke What She Said
August 9 at 12 am. A night that probably will not live in infamy.
But it might, so come out and see renowned Athens band That's What She Said moonlighting as Strokin' It, The Strokes Cover Band, this Thursday at the Georgia Theatre.
The Chinese are makin' it rain. . .
. . . for the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. Here's how this (post)modern mastery of science works.
Who Knew!?!
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
The Pending Apocalypse
It's coming, and SOON. Just wanted to look out for the rest of you: are you ready?
For Those Brave Few of You Thinking of Voting in 2008
Here is a helpful chart containing all of the current positions of the current presidential candidates.
With All Due Respect to Allah
Those crazy Brits are at it again, and by "it," I mean provoking riots. This should turn out well: Jihad The Musical
A Public Service Announcement:
Let's dispense with the pleasantries, and let me be perfectly clear: When you and your dating partner of choice are out on a date, don't sit on the same side of the booth.
Perhaps there are exceptions, but if your date is so ugly you can't look at them while eating, perhaps you should revise your potential-mate-screening practices to exclude people that make you physically ill.
If the thought of enduring an entire meal without any more physical contact with your date than can be accomplished across a tabletop is odious to you, then order in. Or learn to cook. Or do us all a favor, and stick a (metal) fork into an (active) electrical socket.
If both you and your date can't eat a meal without facing the door, do us all a favor and get sterilized. God knows we don't need any more crazy people running around anyway.
In the interest of full disclosure, at least one of our editors is a mouth-breathing moron who likes sitting on the same side of the booth with the physically co-dependent wildebeests that he takes out to dinner.
Monday, August 6, 2007
It's been a long day, and my dogs are barkin...
Michael Vick in his first endorsement deal since Doggie-Gate.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Rejected
One of my favorite videos from the dark ages of the internet. Enjoy. Oh yeah, it might not be totally SFW.
A Public Service Announcement:
Ladies and Gentlemen,
"Thusly" is not a word. Look here. If you'll be so kind as to scroll down, you will note its origin: "thusly" originated as a way to make fun of people who were attempting to speak as if they were educated.
Articles like this (see paragraph 3, introducing the second long block quote of the article) only make the world a less-intelligent-sounding place.
In sum, don't use "thusly." At the very least, it makes you sound dumb; if that's not enough, you are also risking a serious remonstrance and perhaps some unforgiving chastising if I happen to come across it.
Stay Classy.
[As an aside, don't use long block quotes. It's called paraphrasing, for Christ's sake. Also, don't quote Anchorman anymore.]
Don't mind me, I'm just the Apocalypse
As if we needed more evidence that they just don't know.
And don't even think about staging a walk-a-thon to raise awareness; Jack Bauer doesn't take kindly to pollution.
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