RIP Evel Knievel

He will be missed.

Mike Huckabee Talks Directly To God

Here is video of GOP presidential hopeful, Mike Huckabee, having an onstage cell phone conversation with God at a 2004 fundraising event:



I seriously think he ripped this bit off from my high school youth minister.

BCS Conference Championship Preview

As we descend upon the conclusion of the NCAA Football season, here's a quick round-up of the major BCS Conference championship games, with apologies to the Pac-10 and the Big East, because while both are lame and do not have conference championships, at least every team plays each other team in a conference game. No apologies to the "Big 10," which has 11 teams and does not have a schedule designed to prove which team is best.

So, without further ado, and with many thanks to the Worldwide Leader for its previews, here's a quick rundown of Saturday's three major championship games:

ACC Championship: Boston College vs. Virginia Tech

Saturday, 1:00pm Eastern, Jacksonville, Florida


These two teams played earlier in the season, with No.2 (at the time) Boston College winning a miracle game 14-10 by scoring two touchdowns in the last 2 minutes. Since then, BC has lost two games and Va. Tech has remained solid (it's only other loss coming in the second game of the season against a then-unstoppable LSU).

It looks like Tech is the stronger team coming into this game, and if this Atlanta BC fan is right, the Eagles' lack of a fan base in Jacksonville may end up hurting their chances in the Championship. I guess that's what happens when the closest team in your conference is 500 miles away.

Anyhow, the winner of this game will play in the Orange Bowl unless something strange happens and they end up in the title game. This is unlikely.


SEC Championship: LSU vs. Tennessee

Saturday, 4:00pm Eastern, Atlanta, Georgia

In actuality, this column was inspired by my desire to post this article, explaining how Tennessee is an embarrassment to the SEC Championship.

Further, in another mostly negative article, an LSU source explains the team's declining state going into the game.

Both of these suggest that UGA is better than both teams, which I like, but unfortunately we won’t get the chance to prove it. Regardless, hopefully the entire game will be embodied in a similar manner to this:



Tennessee and LSU have not played this year, so there's no follow-up on that front. The winner of this game goes to the Sugar Bowl. If Tennessee wins, I might slit my wrists.


Big 12 Championship: Oklahoma v. Missouri

Saturday, 8:00pm, San Antonio, Texas


This is possibly the most hyped game of the weekend, seeing as Missouri is ranked #1 for the first time since 1960. Unfortunately, their one loss was to Oklahoma. If Missouri wins, they stamp their ticket to New Orleans for the National Championship game. If they lose, there's going to be a wrench thrown into the BCS machine to figure out what to do with all the two-loss teams as West Virginia and Ohio State battle it out for the title.

In the meantime, here's an article about Missouri not choking this year like they usually do. Don’t speak too soon. . .

And finally, a quick piece on Oklahoma from the AP. Surprisingly there isn't much presence in the blogosphere regarding Sooner football. Maybe there's a market out there for it.


Enjoy your weekend watching!

Update: Teacher in Sudan Jailed for Naming a Teddy Bear Muhammed

Kyle sends me this:

"And you thought jailing her was overly harsh... Protesters in the Sudan are now calling for the teacher who named her classroom's teddy bear Muhammad (in honor of one of her students) to be executed."

I sincerely hope that Ms. Gibbons remains safe while she serves her absurd prison sentence and awaits her return to the UK. This situation only highlights the fact that this vile brand of Islamic extremism has to be defeated one way or another.

Miss South Carolina Part II?

My sister just emailed this to me (Thanks Liso):

"Kellie Pickler (she was on American Idol) on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.. I sincerely hope, for our country's public education system, that she is faking this":

"Let's Get 'Em": Evangelical warmongers

First of all, I have to give a nod to the gentleman from whom I gathered this story, as the meta-tag to his blog is "The musings of an eccentric and sometimes heretical Episcopalian priest." It's always refreshing to me to hear a clergy member a.) have a sense of humor, and b.) not be afraid to speak his or her mind.

On that note, the aforementioned Father Jake posted an article regarding the lack of hesitation in spreading Christianity through violence.

Calling out others who see proselytizing as the main goal of our political situation in the Middle East, he says:

"Franklin Graham, the evangelist (and son of Billy Graham), boasted that the American invasion of Iraq opens up exciting new opportunities for missions to non-Christian Arabs. This is not what the Hebrew or Christian prophets meant by righteousness and discipleship. In fact, the grotesque notion that preemptive war and the destruction of innocent life pave the way for the preaching of the Christian message strikes me as a mockery and a betrayal. . . One would hope that we are seeing the American evangelicals' trend of depicting Jesus as the new Rambo finally coming to an end."

(editor's note: lifted from his site is this glorious picture in context with his analogy)



Though I will not agree that our involvement in Iraq (and now Iran, Pakistan, can't forget Afghanistan, and soon Russia and Venezuela — see Greg's posts earlier today) is unjustified, I certainly do think it is from a religious perspective, and I think Father Jake here nails that on the head.

Suburban Paris riots and the (lack of) religious element

Reuters posted an intriguing story yesterday about riots in the Parisian suburbs, and corrected an often quickly judged assumption that the unrest is caused solely by Muslims.

The article is long, but pretty self-explanatory, as its author runs down how absurd it is even to call these "Muslim neighborhoods," as the poor suburban areas represent a multitude of less-than-affluent French citizens, and more particularly, the rioters specifically are not identifying themselves — i.e., not just shying away from identifying themselves as Muslims, but not identifying themselves at all.

The writer's personal disclosure (which I always appreciate):

"I’m the Reuters religion editor and I live in Paris. In 2005, when Nicolas Sarkozy was putting out the story that Muslims fundamentalists were behind the rioting, I went out to the suburbs and found the people out there weren’t buying it. This time around, there is not even any suggestion from anybody here that religion has anything to do with it. If I thought it did, I’d write about it."

Effectively, then, the point goes to show that regardless of the rioters' religious or cultural affiliation, there are plenty of other issues present in the Parisian suburbs. However, many people would love to lay the blame on "those unruly Muslims," just like many factions would like to blame all crime in the urban United States on young African-American men. This article is just a nice reminder that there are plenty of other factors in play here; most notably, economic class usually trumps all else.

Speaking of Totalitarianism...

Vlad Putin will consolidate his power in this Sunday's elections; he plans to use fraud and intimidation to ensure an overwhelming victory. The UK's Guardian reports:

"Local administration officials have called in thousands of staff on their day off in an attempt to engineer a massive and inflated victory for President Vladimir Putin and his United Russia party. Voters are being pressured to vote for United Russia or risk losing their jobs, their accommodation or bonuses, the Guardian has been told in numerous interviews with byudzhetniki (public sector workers), students and ordinary citizens."

By the way, has anybody heard from Chechnya lately?

The Return of World War III

Slate's Ron Rosenbaum has a great (but long) article on the return of World War III to the national consciousness. The concept is again showing up in movies, video games, books, and music; its like 1985, all over again. Worse, there is a general sense among many people that we might be approaching the real thing.

On the Venezuelan Constitutional Referendum

Hugo Chavez is in the process of putting the final pieces of his "socialist paradise" together in Venezuela. On Sunday, the people have been asked to vote for constitutional amendments that will do away with presidential term limits, end the right to be tried by an independent tribunal, allow the president to declare emergency rule indefinitely, and allow for the censorship of news organizations.

The New York Times has a piece describing the growing opposition to Chavez's power grab. Unfortunately, I am afraid it is too little, too late; Chavez's political machine is far too big to lose at this point. I hope that the people can eventually wrest control away from their new totalitarian dictator. Otherwise, there is a high probability that the vast wealth of oil found within Venezuela's borders will be squandered.

How To Find Information on the Web

A guide for searching other resources besides your friendly neighborhood search engine.

Teacher in Sudan Jailed for Naming a Teddy Bear Muhammed

This is absurd.

Sports Story Spawns Racial Debate

Two days ago, we mentioned the tragic story of Sean Taylor's death.

Since then, Jason Whitlock, who left ESPN two months ago, has stirred up quite a controversy with this article, blaming what he calls "the Black KKK" for keeping black Americans "uneducated, outside the mainstream and six feet deep."

Not surprisingly, the Fox Sports message board is ablaze with commenters falling all over themselves to alternatively berating and lionizing Jason Whitlock. Someone even transcribed this interesting comment from the often-less-than-intelligible Steven A. Smith.

Is Ethanol a Viable Alternative Fuel?

In June of 2006, the answer would have been a resounding yes; ethanol was selling for as much as $5 a gallon at that time. Now, we're not so sure. Ethanol is highly subsidized, offerring oil refineries alone over 50 cents per gallon when mixed with gasoline. But serious environmental concerns have arisen, including fears of air pollution caused by producing ethanol, along with speculation that ethanol production is contributing to the rising cost of food.

Fuel Cells, anyone?

Scotland Pays £125,000 for "Welcome to Scotland"

That's roughly $258,000, or $15,176 per letter; the ad execs at The Leitch Group must be laughing all the way to the bank.

Update: Oral Roberts' presidential resignation

A continuation to my story from yesterday covering the recent resignation of Oral Roberts University president Richard Roberts:

In an unsurprising move, Roberts claims that God asked him to resign from the position, to which, appropriately, he conceded.


From the article:

“Roberts has previously said that God told him to deny the allegations. The week the lawsuit was filed, Richard Roberts said that God told him: ‘We live in a litigious society. Anyone can get mad and file a lawsuit against another person whether they have a legitimate case or not. This lawsuit ... is about intimidation, blackmail and extortion.’

On Wednesday, Roberts said God told him he would "do something supernatural for the university," if he stepped down from the job he held at the 5,700-student school since 1993.”

I hate to be a cynic when it comes to people claiming divine revelation, because I simply can’t prove (nor do I want to) what God may or may not be saying to them. But this challenges the view of an infallible God – why does it seem like He can’t make up His mind a lot of the time? Why would God have waffled on this, originally telling Roberts to deny the allegations of defrauding a spiritually-charged organization dedicated to the Lord's name?

However, at the same time, it appears the university has received a fortuitous gift in concert with the resignation: $70 million from an Oklahoma businessman. This clearly fits into Roberts' revelation that God would do something for the university if he resigned. Or, a faithful philanthropist wanted to help the university out of the $50 million in debt Roberts helped accrue, and made sure he was gone before making the donation. Either way.



POSTSCRIPT: In line with my previous coverage of the recent Senate investigation into several megachurch preachers, here’s an ironic (or telling) addendum from the second article (links to my former stories where appropriate):

“Sen. Chuck Grassley, R-Iowa, recently announced a Senate investigation into whether six celebrity preachers violated their organizations’ tax-exempt status by living lavishly on the contributions of small donors.

Three of the six are members of the Oral Roberts board: Creflo Dollar, Benny Hinn and Fort Worth-area evangelist Kenneth Copeland.”

Your source for all things Golden Compass

One of the supposedly most controversial films in some time, apparently, is "The Golden Compass," which is set for release next Friday, December 7. As many Christians are fearing that it promotes Atheism, the film has generated quite a buzz; enough, in fact, that I'm going to keep up with the press leading up to the film's release next week, and I'll go see it and review it Pasty Quail style, just to enter our thoughts into the discourse.

Anyhow, today marks my first round in the Advent period leading up to this supposedly God-threatening film, so in contrast to article above, here's another from The Boston Globe that stands in defense of it.

Hopefully, we'll have a spiritual battle of epic proportions to cover next week, so stay tuned. . .

What is Ted Turner Up To?

The AP is running a story about Ted Turner's increasingly large portfolio of Western ranching land. Neighbors are starting to wonder just what he has planned for all that land, over 2 million continuous acres. Some theories:

"Turner is trying to corner the land over the Ogallala Aquifer, the world's largest underground water system, to gain power in the water-starved West."

"He is scheming, perhaps with the United Nations, to create a vast wildlife refuge and turn it over to the federal government"

The man is solely responsible for subjecting us to the 24-hour news cycle (the guy is clearly evil). Whatever he is up to, it is well-worth keeping an eye on. Give us your best guess as to Ted's evil intentions in the comments.

Jedi-worshipers congregate outside Harrison Ford's ranch

Yeah, this is pretty self-explanatory. A group of people who claim to practice Jedi-ism have assumed Harrison Ford (the man, not Han Solo the character) as their leader, going so far as to pray outside his Wyoming ranch.

A couple of issues here:

1.) Why is Han the object of their worship? Granted, Ford is MUCH hotter than Mark Hamill, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't a Jedi.

2.) According to one poll, Jedi-ism is the 4th largest belief system in Britain. Wow.

3.) I wonder if people actually recognize the distinction between Ford and his character — i.e. one is a mostly regular dude 30 years removed from this single role in a movie, and the other is, that's right, a film character in a fictional universe.

Of course I'm just being facetious, because we all should believe that people would be cognizant of this. Yet, where is this connection people make when they go so far as to pray to celebrities personally? Do they expect anything from it?

Regardless, Ford's reaction is my favorite part, and what I hope to say when inevitably I am mistakenly worshiped later in life: "It's flattering," he says, "but I can't accept their prayers."

CNN/Youtube Debate

Stephen Green from VodkaPundit has a quality roundup from the Republican debate last night. Also, Christopher Beam at Slate live-blogged the event.

I watched most of the debate, and found that the Youtube questioners were generally pretty good; despite the fact that at least one was apparently planted by Hillary.

I thought McCain had a good night; he was strong on the war, and is the only candidate who can really address the torture issue. Romney looked like he would run away with it until he stumbled (badly) on the "is the bible the word of God" question; also, Guiliani accused him of hiring illegal immigrants to work at the Massachusetts governor's mansion. Ron Paul's position on the war (he wants us out) has become untenable given the current picture in Iraq; he looked pretty silly trying to defend his stance last night. Mike Huckabee looked as slick as a Southern Baptist preacher. Guiliani seemed to simply hold serve, despite the revelation during the debate that he cost the state of New York tens of thousands of dollars in security expenses while pursuing an extramarital affair.

Top 10 Beards of the Year

Check out the Top 10 beards of the year from the 2007 World Beard and Moustache Championships in Brighton, England.

Our 1,000th Post!

Believe it or not, today we are celebrating our 1000th post! In recognition of this fine achievement, we have compiled a list of our favorite posts from the last 3 months. Please enjoy this look back at the best of the Pasty Quail:

- Dan's photo-essay from the French Riviera.

- A Megachurch admits it was "wrong" in its method of proselytizing.

- The Pasty Quail reviews HBO's Tell Me You Love Me.

- Dan interviews local band, We Versus the Shark.

- The Pasty Quail attends the New Pornographers' show at the Variety Playhouse.

- Hebbard reports from a speech by the Air Force Judge Advocate General.

- The Pasty Quail spends Halloween with Of Montreal in Athens.

- We covered all sides of the events in Jena, LA.

- Hebbard takes a look at criticism of the American health care system.

- The Pasty Quail almost interviews Ralph Reed.

More on Doug Morris, the Big Four, and Music Industry News

* Coolfer, your local music industry blog, has posted some reactions to Seth Mnookin's profile of Doug Morris, ranging from New York Mag's fiercely bitchy reaction to Silicon Valley Insider's relatively tame "UMG is full of people with no foresight, but few people have foresight anyway." Also, Bob Lefsetz, the notorious industry gossip, has posted an "anonymous" reaction to the Morris interview on his site. Nothing says funny like a pissed off employee.
* WMG is trying to create essentially 360 deal with Frank Sinatra. Has anyone told Edgar Bronfman, Jr. that Frank Sinatra died?
* Pitchfork is going to be the indie rock MTV...soon...
* EMI, one of the Big Four record companies left in the world, is considering halving its contribution to the RIAA, the industry's formal lobbying group in America. It no longer sees the point of contributing its annual $25M to the RIAA, IFPI (International Federation of the Phonographic Industry), and the BPI (British Phonographic Industry), and Terra Firma, EMI's parent group, wants to conserve what little money is not being burned up by the second.
* And the RIAA and MPAA are fiercely lobbying to get presidential candidates to pledge greater copyright and intellectual property protection as part of their platforms.

Universal Music Group is Run By an Incompetent Old Man

Wired has an excellent profile on the CEO of Universal Music Group, Doug Morris. The article paints Morris as a stodgy old man with a serious fear of technology; its no wonder the music industry continues to fight against new digital strategies.

The article discusses the music industry's blunders at the dawn of the digital age (when Morris took over at UMG):


"Morris insists there wasn't a thing he or anyone else could have done differently. "There's no one in the record company that's a technologist," Morris explains. "That's a misconception writers make all the time, that the record industry missed this. They didn't. They just didn't know what to do. It's like if you were suddenly asked to operate on your dog to remove his kidney. What would you do?"

Personally, I would hire a vet. But to Morris, even that wasn't an option. "We didn't know who to hire," he says, becoming more agitated. "I wouldn't be able to recognize a good technology person — anyone with a good bullshit story would have gotten past me." Morris' almost willful cluelessness is telling. "He wasn't prepared for a business that was going to be so totally disrupted by technology," says a longtime industry insider who has worked with Morris. "He just doesn't have that kind of mind.""

Also from the article:

"Discussing Universal's various initiatives, Caraeff, an even-keeled 32-year-old in a crisply tailored suit, is explaining that it's important to be "invigorated and challenged by the opportunities of digital music." At this, Morris puts down his tuna fish on white, wipes some crumbs off his khakis, and clears his throat. I expect him to deliver an explanation of how he learned to stop worrying and love the MP3. Instead, he launches into a rant about a creature that resembles a misshapen bowling ball.

"There was a cartoon character years ago called the Shmoo," he says in a raspy tenor. "It was in Li'l Abner. The Shmoo was a nice animal, a nice fella, but if you were hungry, you cut off a piece of him and put onions on it, and if you wanted to play football you just made him like a football. You could do anything to him. That's what was happening to the music business. Everyone was treating the music business like it was a Shmoo."

Um. What?

Is There an English Employment Lawyer in the House? Emma Clarke Just Got Dooced.

Emma Clarke, the voice of the London Underground, was canned this week for the content of her blog. The 36 year-old Briton most famous for saying, "Mind the gap," was fired after she created spoof Tube announcements and uploaded them to her website, including such wonderful fake annoucements as:
* * "We'd like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loud."
* * "Would the passenger in the red shirt pretending to read a paper, but is actually staring at that woman's chest, please stop? You are not fooling anyone. You filthy pervert!"
* * "Here we are again, crammed into a sweaty tube carriage. And today's Wednesday - only two more days until you can binge drink yourself into a state of denial about the mediocrity of you life. Oh, for Goodness sake, if you're female, smile at the bloke next to you and make his day. He probably hasn't had sex for months."
So much for that British sense of humor...

Hoax or Just Horrifying?

Gawker, Jezebel, and InvestorSpot are reporting that used condoms are being recycled into hair bands.

I would like to think this is a hoax, but the accompanying photos after the jump (which are safe for work) make me wonder.

Christmas Lights Ensnare Drunken Moose

Only in Alaska.

Rick Sinnott, a Fish and Game biologist, says the moose has a goofy look on his face, but added that there isn't much that can be done with a drunken moose: "These country moose can't always hold their liquor."

Thanks to KP for the tip.

Breaking News: Hugo Chavez is Crazy

Earlier today, Venezuela's crack-pot dictator for life, Hugo Chavez, donned the tin foil hat and accused CNN of instigating his murder. The news channel accidentally ran an image of Chavez with the text 'Who Killed Him?' underneath; this prompted him to address the issue on state television, and threaten suit against CNN.

DISCLAIMER: Highly Blasphemous Content Below

If you're offended by that kind of thing, then please don't read this; if you're not, enjoy! Cracked.com has fashioned a list of the 9 Most Bad Ass Bible Verses, accompanied by clever, and yes, quite blasphemous commentary, some of which is shown in the picture below:


You'll understand the reference when you read the article, which provides some entertaining insight to the overwhelming violence throughout the Good Book.

Florida Snowmen Demand Answers

In anticipation of the CNN/YouTube presidential debates coming up this week, Billiam the Snowman showed up to ask this question about global warming:


From The Washington Post:

In an interview Wednesday with the Manchester (N.H.) Union Leader, Romney said he's not a fan of the CNN/YouTube format. Referring to the video of a snowman asking the Democratic candidates about global warming, Romney quipped, "I think the presidency ought to be held at a higher level than having to answer questions from a snowman."

Billiam has this to say:


There is nothing more I can say about this. God Bless America.

NEWSFLASH: Carson Daly is an Asshole!

Carson Daly is planning on breaking the WGA strike. I am not a pro-union guy, but in this particular situation, the WGA seems to have a legitimate complaint. If you feel very strongly anti-union, maybe you can help him out with a few one-liners on his joke hotline.

Carson Daly was likely confirmed as an asshole before this decision, and adding "picket-line-crossing scab" to his litany of crimes against humanity only makes me more sure.

In other news, the Sun rose in the East this morning.

Oral Roberts' president resigns after allegedly misappropriating funds

As I've become apt to do, here's another story on scandal from the bottom line of The Church Business. (Editor's Note: Keep your eyes peeled, there may be a Pasty Quail subsidiary blog in the new year covering The Church Business exclusively)

This time, the president of one of the United States' most well-known Christian universities, Oral Roberts in Tulsa, Okla., resigned over the holiday weekend due to "a series of allegations of misspending the institution’s funds to support expensive shopping trips and trips to the sunny seas of the Caribbean."

My new friends at GetReligion do a pretty good job of breaking this down, so I'll leave you to them. However, their closing to the article brought up a point that I've hit on before, and that I'll mention again:

"A huge question that remains largely unanswered is how this scandal was affected by the Roberts family’s emphasis on prosperity theology."

In other words, continuing situations of Christian embezzlement poke a nasty thorn into the side of a theology that says God favors the wealthy and that monetary gain reflects spiritual health. What happens when the "wealth" many parishioners (or students) perceive in their spiritual superiors is a farce? And how much pressure do these superiors feel to appear most wealthy, and thus most godly?

Catholics and Muslims, Unite!

Just on the long side of a year since Pope Benedict XVI's inflammatory comments regarding the Islamic faith, a group of Muslim scholars has presented a charge to the Vatican to open a theological discourse between the two faiths.

One of the chief concerns of these Muslims is that the Vatican refuses to recognize differences of belief between the two faiths, effectively dismissing Islam as inconsequential and simply a nuisance to contain. From the article:

“Most of the response that has come from the Vatican, after the Islamic protest and all of these things, has been diplomatic, not theological,” said [Seyyed] Hossein [Nasr, an Iranian Muslim scholar at George Washington University]. “The very first meeting in the Vatican [after Regensburg, see first link] was with Muslim ambassadors. These are people appointed as ambassadors, many of whom know nothing at all about Islamic issues.

What is being evaded all the time are those underlying differences in belief that then cause the political and social differences to manifest themselves on the surface. We have to be honest enough to tackle that, and not to hide it in the closet.”

Though I'm not positive of all the ramifications and manifestations of current Muslim-Catholic discourse, I am fully supportive of opening a discourse between any "conflicting" faiths.

In another interesting comment, John Esposito, director of the Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Center for Muslim-Christian Understanding at Georgetown University said:

“I think that you do have a strong school of thought in the Vatican which does not seem to believe that there can be a theological dialogue with Islam. It’s based on what I regard as an old theological position. In those days, the whole approach was that because Islam says that the Prophet is the final prophet and has the final revelation, therefore there can’t be any theological dialogue. It seems to me we’ve moved beyond that, at least we ought to move beyond that. But this is one of the questions that has arisen, and it has not been answered during this papacy.”

I'm in complete agreement with both of these gentlemen throughout the article, as they pinpoint some of the main issues facing Muslims as they're viewed negatively from the perspective of many Christians, and as it seems, the Vatican itself.

However, my main concern with the type of language they're using generalizes Christians too much, which is a slippery slope. Most American Christians (and even many American Catholics) probably would not appreciate being lumped into the same category of belief as the Vatican. Yet, this call for discourse is important across the board — not just between Catholics and Muslims, but across all boundaries of whatever people consider religious belief. Understanding each other's spirituality would go a long way to mitigating many of the social and political issues on a macro level, and can curb mutual hatred and xenophobia (if people actually want that) on a micro level.

In the end, though, this article specifically is directed toward the rift between the face of the world's largest religious sect and the world's fastest growing religion, Islam. Clearly, the relationship between the two organizations is significant, and there has to be some jumping off point.

A Dr. Pasty Musical Top Ten

In the spirit of Top Tens and in honor of our 1000th post, here are a few Top 10s for your reading and time-wasting pleasure.

* IGN's Top 10 Songs for Getting It On -- featuring a short top-ten for self-love, as well
* Blender's Top 10 (+10) Songs for Making Out
* Yahoo Personal's Top 10 Songs for the Break Up
* Stylus's Top 10 Songs that Remind You of Sex
* About's Top Ten Lesbian Love Songs
And for that little slice of random, RollingStone's Top 25 Songs with a Secret. Did you know that Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out" is actually about an assassination? Nuts. I just thought it was about a breakup.

I Can't Even Come up with a Good Title For This

Reuters reports that "Older, White Women Are Amongst Kenya's New Sex Tourists". The headline pretty much says it all, but in short:
* Kenya is full of strapping, young (black) men.
* Older (white) women from nations like England go there to get some.
* These women often buy their young lovers gifts, but most do not explicitly pay, ahem, for service.
* Locals on the scene "estimate" that 20% of single female travelers aren't just there for the pina coladas and the sun.
* The Kenyan government is trying to discourage the practice as being a bit sketchy.
* Reuters asks if this is prostitution or preying on poverty--perhaps not in the same way that many Western old men go to nations like Thailand and Cambodia for sex with young girls and boys, but something in that same ballpark.
* Reuters also asks if this is just a liberating experience for women who may not be able to find these "opportunities" in their home countries.
* Reuters also keeps using the term "black market," which makes OneElf giggle in Accounting class.

Greenpeace Holds Vote to Name Adopted Whale, "Mister Splashy Pants" Ahead In A Landslide

Greenpeace is having an open vote to name the whale they have adopted, and as of 12:00AM Tuesday, Mister Splashy Pants is winning in a landslide. You can have your say if you want.

Enjoy the loosely related video.

Ivy League University Screws the Working Man. (And Woman. And Historic District. And Blacks, Latinos, Students, and the Elderly.)

This is Harlem.

It's a historic neighborhood that, despite what early-90s films like "Who's the Man?" and "New Jack City" may have you believe, is clean and safe. West Harlem has also been the ancestral home of Black Americans, featuring hundreds of historic sites including the Hotel Theresa to the original Cotton Club to the Apollo Theater to the original site of the Savoy Ballroom to the Lenox Lounge to Sylvia's to the Schomburg Center, etc. Its most famous current and former residents range from Malcolm X to Mase, Zora Neale Hurston to Charles Mingus, Marcus Garvey to Maya Angelou and Tupac Shakur. West Harlem begins roughly around 125th Street, but goes as low as 110th Street in some areas.

This is Columbia.

Columbia is a multi-billion dollar private university located in Manhattan and famously strapped for space. Where is Columbia in Manhattan? Columbia lies within "Morningside Heights" or that mysterious area north of West 110th Street that's "not" West Harlem. (Though East Harlem starts on East 110th Street.) Columbia's campus ends at 121st Street. For the past few years, Columbia has tried to buy property immediately north of campus including a large chunk of historic property traditionally considered West Harlem. Homeowners refused. Community groups protested. Even members of the notoriously apathetic student body spoke out and participated in hunger strikes, though much of the projected construction was directly for their benefit and would alleviate the ridiculous housing crunch (and lack of research labs) facing the undergraduate population.

Columbia has also attempted to press the government to use eminent domain to take over parts of West Harlem for Columbia's use. While this tactic hasn't directly worked, the New York City Planning Commission approved Columbia's revised plan for expansion yesterday, including certain provisions that allow Columbia to press for the government to use eminent domain as necessary. Assuming the City Council approves the plan, Columbia will now own 17 acres of land in northwest Manhattan, driving out homeowners, driving up housing prices, closing community-owned stores, and effectively destroying the cultural climate of part of historic Manhattan.

According to Columbia's press release announcing the approved plan, Columbia is committed to not using eminent domain to relocate residents in the projected construction area, and even claims the following: "In addition, the University will commit $4 million to expand Columbia’s existing support for legal aid services to tenants in Manhattanville, including protection from unlawful eviction or harassment."

To view the Harlem Tenants' Council's response, check out HarlemLive.

Another Fine Time Waster

Quizlaw shows you how to kill a chocolate bunny. It's hypnotic...really.

More Headlines!

- Bush is "deeply concerned" about the wave of arrests leading up to the elections in Russia; Putin says US is interfering.
- Iran claims to have a new missile capable of hitting Israel and US troops stationed in the Middle East; but don't worry, their development of nuclear technology is just for power plants.
- Agoraphilia has a great piece up about developing technologies and copyright schemes in the modern world.
- L'edifice immense du souvenir has up a first-hand story of the French strike.

Abu Dhabi Bails Out Citigroup

The Abu Dhabi Investment Fund, the sovereign fund of that oil-rich member of the UAE, has invested $7.5 billion into Citigroup; the huge stock purchase will help the bank to offset its huge expected losses.

In other financial news, S&P says that US home prices fell 1.7% this quarter, and are down 4.5% from a year ago; although the meaning of these declines (the sharpest since S&P began keeping the index in 1987) is not completely clear, Robert Shiller, Chief Economist of MacroMarkets LLC now puts the odds of the US going into recession at 50%.

Tuesday Timewaster

23/6.com has "Democratic Campaign Slogans I'd Like to See".

My personal favorites include:
"Hillary Clinton: Secretly Gay, But Isn't Everyone?"
"John Edwards: Beating A Dead Horse Since 1998"
"Vote For Kucinich: Oh, That's Right, Because Hippies Can Vote"
"Vote For Obama: It's As Close As You'll Ever Get To Making A Black Friend"

Enjoy!

"Coach" Is Code for "Clown Car Seating"

The New York Times states the obvious: you have less space in "economy" seating on an airplane than you do in this telephone booth.

However, the NYT explains the decreasing quality of cheap air travel in terms of class conflict and diminishing returns for airlines. With the price of gas going up, the overhead costs for airlines has (no pun intended) skyrocketed. Hence, amenities for the more frugal traveler have been cut: pillows, peanuts, meals, and that precious inch and a half of space that distinguishes between elbowing your neighbor and being in your neighbor's lap. By contrast, first class service has remained luxurious, with on the ground drink service, food options, massive pillows for all, and noise-cancelling headphones. Any thoughts, anyone? Will the decreasing quality of service for the majority of customers in coach class cause travelers to change their habits? Or will people just put up with it, go home, and complain on sites like flightsfromhell.com?

Somewhere, A Publicist Just Lost Her Wings

So you're Dr. Jan Adams, the cosmetic surgeon who performed the operation that allegedly killed Dr. Donda West, better known as Kanye's mom.

There's at least one man I can name who probably wants you dead.
You're being investigated by the cops.
You may lose your medical license.
Everyone now knows your name, but likely not in the way you might have wanted.
Your work has inspired dozens of stories across the world about medical malpractice.

But there's a light in the distance. You have the opportunity to go on "Larry King Live."

What happens? Check out What Would Tyler Durden Do for the answer. I think it's the shortest interview in "Larry King" history.

Californians on the way to purifying sewage water to drink

Hopefully people haven't forgotten that we're still running out of water since we finally have had some substantial rain in the last week, which we all pray will continue and get us back to a healthy level. However, if we do get enough rain to substantiate us for a longer time, we need to keep in mind that this is where we're headed if we don't continue conserving. In California (and I'm sure in other Western states where drought is a continuous problem), sewer water is being purified for drinking.

Though it is conceivable that we could get enough rain to substantiate Atlanta's appetite for water, that seems ultimately unlikely. The traditional levels of rainfall supported the traditional population, which has exploded and is rising. So, even if we don't run out of water, this has been the wake-up call to do something to address the needs of the 5 million people that now live in the Atlanta area.

My main concern, though, is how we’re going to get people in Georgia to pay enough taxes to afford an appropriate solution. Prayer can only go so far. . .

More news from the wide world of sports, or football

Keeping the light news separated from the heavy, here are a couple news items of the weird from the last couple days in the sports nation.

- Due to a rain delay last night, The NFL decided to forego the National Anthem before last night's game between Pittsburgh and Miami. This is just an interesting oversight of a time-honored tradition. Though I'm sure whatever C-list celebrity they had to sing before the Steelers played the 0-10 Dolphins was happy he or she did not have to be out there in the cold rain, how long does the Anthem really take? Three, maybe four minutes?

- And now for something completely different, but awesome nonetheless. I have the video of yet ANOTHER Auburn player being bitten by a dog during a game. Auburn head coach Tommy Tuberville claims this is the first instance he's seen of a dog bite in a game, but, obviously he doesn't remember Uga going after an Auburn player back in 1996, which, luckily, is also shown in the video. Oh, and the dog bite is listed on the injury report. Enjoy!

NFL Player dies from gunshot wound

In a bit of disheartening news from the sports world, Washington Redskins defensive back Sean Taylor died overnight from a gunshot wound inflicted on him in his home in Miami.

This is the kind of news that makes sports journalism difficult, I think. For example, how else to segue from this back to halftime of a meaningless and boring Monday Night Football game that ESPN had to hype up ridiculously to get any ratings?

I make fun of ESPN constantly for over-dramatizing stories that are not really all that serious, and there is a difference when they make things serious when they should not be. It’s easy to blast sportswriters for sensationalizing, but do they do this because the rest of the content is light, and to make a smoother transition to reporting this kind of news?

Either way, I wish Mr. Taylor a peaceful rest, and it’s a sad way to see such a talented young man go.

The Pasty Quail Travels Again: Thanksgiving in Chicago

For my Thanksgiving Holiday, I made a twelve-hour road trip with my sister, her fiancé and my lovely girlfriend Lindsey to visit my parents in Chicago — or more appropriately, where they live in the suburb of Geneva, which is pictured below.


We had a great holiday spending some time with the family, and we were able to trek into Chicago (which lies about 40 miles to the east of Geneva - about a one hour drive) for a couple visits.

Though this photo essay will be much more photo than essay, here's shot of the downtown cityscape from Millennium Park.


What you're seeing in this picture is the Cloud Gate sculpture (affectionately known as "The Bean," due to its shape), which sits at the center of the park to reflect the surrounding architecture of downtown Chicago.

Following the jumps, I've included some of the highlights of our several trips into the city. Wikipedia links abound!! Enjoy!

- The Cityscape

- The Museum Tour

Facebook has access to users' information; No one cares

So, as the title suggests, this is not really news, since most people don't know or don't care that Facebook "uses their data." To be fair, I'm not even sure what this means, but if you're one of those people that puts up your information freely on the Internet and expects some right to privacy, feel free to post your complaints here.

Back to the grind: Religion drinks too much egg nog with Politics, has nasty hangover

I've been away for a couple weeks, and there is no doubt too much news occurring the political race for me to catch up on fully. Therefore, just for goodness' sake, here's the 17th of the approximately 1 million reiterations I'll make that the Religious Right stands to sway the 2008 election.

In short, Frederick Clarkston, the article's author, dissects yet another proposition that says "No matter who becomes the next president of the United States, the American people have already won a great victory - with the total disintegration of the once all-powerful religious right." Clarkston knocks this assertion out of the park by explaining that the "Religious Right" is as strong as its ever been; namely, it has never really been unified totally, and that it still holds a strong special interest vote.

Anyway, I found the article a riveting read, so enjoy, and we'll have you back on track with all the Religion and Election 2008 you can handle over the next year.

Holiday-themed News Dump!

Returning from a pleasurable autumn holiday and heading toward the oh-so-lovely winter holiday stretch, here's a couple pieces of news in relation to said celebrations.

- From Slate, here's what (not) to do with Thanksgiving leftovers.

- Next, here's an article about the Christians vs. Christmas (sorry, but you have to click through the "Continue Gallery" button to read it). The best part of this series of columns is the illustrations. Enjoy!

- Finally, this is what happens when you shop at SkyMall for all your holiday needs.

Megachurches play key role in local economic development

Like this is any surprise. . .

This New York Times article from last Friday explains something that is not terribly shocking to any of us here at the Quail and abroad, as we've been covering the vast depths of American Christianity's bottom line for several weeks running now.

In this context, the story leads with an inspiring anecdote from Anchorage, Alaska, where a megachurch is supporting strong development in the community.

I think this can be wholly positive, and there's no question that a church's place — according to Christian belief — is to support the community. However, as we've been discussing here previously, where is the line drawn between Church and State, and more importantly, between God and Mammon?


From the article:

"Indeed, some huge churches, already politically influential, are becoming catalysts for local economic development, challenging a conventional view that churches drain a town financially by generating lower-paid jobs, taking land off the property-tax rolls and increasing traffic.

But the entrepreneurial activities of churches pose questions for their communities that do not arise with secular development.

These enterprises, whose sponsoring churches benefit from a variety of tax breaks and regulatory exemptions given to religious organizations in this country, sometimes provoke complaints from for-profit businesses with which they compete — as ChangePoint’s new sports center has in Anchorage.

Mixed-use projects, like shopping centers that also include church buildings, can make it difficult to determine what constitutes tax-exempt ministry work, which is granted exemptions from property and unemployment taxes, and what is taxable commerce."

In any case, this is not necessarily problematic from a business standpoint. The "for-profit" companies can be pissed all they want, but the name of the game is competition, and the churches have a leg up on them from a tax-break standpoint. From this perspective — and I don't think anyone would deny this — these churches are capitalistic geniuses.

However, is that the message these Christians want to send?

"The church’s leaders say they hope to draw people to faith by publicly demonstrating their commitment to meeting their community’s economic needs.

'We want to turn people on to Jesus Christ through this process,' said Karl Clauson, who has led the church for more than eight years."

Looking at this statement, it appears that there's cut-throat competition in the spiritual market as well. Again, there has been a longstanding relationship between American Protestantism and the capitalist economics — numbers of saved souls and accumulation of (rapidly decreasing in value) paper being the abstract indicators of wealth, respectively — and these kind of endeavors only seem to be merge the two realms further.

"The Choking Game" and other disturbing images

As I was watching "Football Night in America" on NBC last night, a commercial for tomorrow’s Today Show came on (side note: I've always loved the "Tomorrow, on Today" commercials; the unintended wordplay just cracks me up).

Anyhow, the top story planned to cover “The Choking Game,” a way in which young kids are asphyxiating each other in order to get high. My first instinct was to dismiss it after I got hosed by Jenkem, the not-real drug made from sewage gas. However, it turns out that The Choking Game is not a hoax, as this original report from Today in August 2005 reports, and to top that off, as this Q&A from ABC News around the same time shows, this practice is relatively horrifying.

In short, many children have died or been seriously injured from choking each other in order to get a quick high, which seems preposterous to me — I mean, whatever happened to whippits? There are plenty of good ol' fashioned inhalants around the house (markers, glue, etc.) that kids can get their hands on; why are they resorting to hurting each other?


Though the articles above are very quick to quell the idea that this is in any way sexual — similar to the way adults asphyxiate each other during sex — Freud might disagree. I'm not saying this is the case, but it might show early signs of masochism.

However, I'm not a psychoanalyst, no matter how much I may want to be, and my chosen path is simply to identify things as they are. In this context, my question is:

Should we be encouraging our kids to smoke pot and drink?

Of course not, but at the same time, demonizing these much, much safer drugs very well could be leading to people resorting to this kind of activity. Though this may or may not be true, I think The Choking Game simply proves that trying to get high is a natural human inclination (please agree or disagree at will). Would it be better, no matter what our kids are doing, just to teach them responsibility with regards to getting high? Clearly, having a sip of whiskey with their friends out back of the house is nowhere near so dangerous as momentarily killing themselves.

On that note, Happy Post-Holiday Monday!!

Georgia's #3!

Looks like the Fighting Irish can be #1 in something this year. Forbes made a list of the Top 20 most valuable college football teams in the country. There's also a link to a slideshow here.

To save you the energy of making the jump, the top five are:
1. Notre Dame Irish (Value: $101M)
2. U. Texas Longhorns (Value: $92M)
3. UGA Bulldogs ($90M)
4. U. Michigan Wolverines ($85M)
5. U. Florida Gators ($84M)

Today in Douchebags

Just when you thought online-dating was safe for normal, healthy human beings, John Fitzgerald Page, "Ivy League Grad," is on the scene.

Dubbed " the worst person in the world"by Gawker and despised the world over by women and other persons with some common sense alike, Mr. Page had a rather heated and now well-publicized exchange with a potential partner using Match.com. When a potential date rejected Mr. Page's messages through Match.com, he sent many a missive back, chronicled here by Gawker. Page has actually gotten so much press because of the incident that he appeared on CBS "Early Show" to explain his behavior.

As an Ivy League grad myself, I'd like to say to Page: Thanks for making us all look bad. See you at the reunion, putz.
EDIT: And ladies, he lives in Atlanta. Watch out.

Violent Femmes

So it's not exactly news to say that women sometimes don't like other women for no apparent reason. I, as the Quail's sole editorial board member lacking a Y chromosome and a recovering "alpha mean girl," can personally vouch for not liking other women for such nonsensical reasons as "she can't seriously think it's okay to wear a scrunchie after 1991" and "well, she just looks like a bitch."

I have never, however, disliked another woman being skinnier than me for fear that she may dominate me. Where am I getting such a wacky proposition? Jezebel.com has a review of an article appearing in December 2007's UK vogue in which British GQ Features Director Alex Bilmes tells us why women worry about their weight: to impress and oppress other women. Bilmes argues that men don't care about women's weights nearly as much as other women (and in fact, find "weight fascism" a turn off), and the real reason why women are so weight-sensitive is because women need to feel better than other women. Weight is merely a stratifying trope that women use to determine the alphas from the betas from the, well, everyone else. Check out the Telegraph's edited version of Bilmes' piece here.

On a personal note, I find it refreshing to hear that men don't care nearly as much about weight as women do. As a lady who lunches with her fellow female students two or three times a week, I find it wholly frustrating to hear "if I get that, I'll really have to work out at the gym this afternoon!" six times before the waitress even gets our drink order. My philosphy, generally speaking, is you only live once, so why not get the Riesling and the Chilean sea bass with the reduction sauce? (This may explain why I'm a spinster, but I really like reduction sauces.) I think women are more weight-conscious because men tend to like skinnier\leaner\smaller women, so women size themselves up to other women as a way of gauging how attractive they are to potential partners. Men may not dig actually hearing that women are super-body conscious, but when it comes down to it, all that body mania is for men--for women to see how hot they are and how they stack up to their potential competition in other women. For example, men may not understand why women get their eyebrows waxed, but they notice a difference between the waxed and arched eyebrow and totally untouched eyebrow.

Getting back to the article, Bilmes seems to be letting men off light in his analysis. Men may not care as much as women, but they do care...otherwise, America Ferrara (bless her heart) and Emily Blunt (to the right-- not her best photo, but she's gorgeous and sadly, had to lose weight to be in "The Devil Wears Prada") would be Googled by straight men as much as Jessica Biel and Megan Fox.*

But I want to hear your thoughts. Boys, girls -- tell me how it is.

* I picked their names at random off Maxim.com. I have no clue how often their images are Googled by straight men.

Today in Booty!

* Maclean's unveils the the "sexiest men alive". Apparently, the newly single septagenarian set--as in, single men in their 70s--is the new hot property. With women living longer than men and a high divorce rate, being an available man in the sunset of your life makes you hotter than a slice of fried gold, since you are (no Viagra joke intended) the last man standing.
* Macleans also has a profile on Faizal Sahukhan, a Canadian sex therapist who specializes in so-called "ethnic sex." Dr. Sahukhan tries to help couples communicate and foster understanding where "Western individualistic and Eastern collectivistic romantic values collide."
* Portolio.com covers how the piracy crisis affects the porn industry, specifically the impact of YouPorn (like YouTube) on Vivid Entertainment, the world's largest porn producer and distributor. Vivid has launched the careers of stars such as Jenna Jameson, Briana Banks, and Savannah Samson. (Relax -- the link is to Vivid's corporate site and is totally safe for work.)
* And Forbes.com has eight hints for healthy sex...you know...for the five people reading Forbes who actually have sex.

We Got Your Music News

* David Brooks, your friendly local conservative "New York Times" columnist, tells us how music is: too specialized, too fragmented, with too many artists who don't know their musical roots. While I would do my normal "Baby Boomers Just Don't Get It" rant here and emphasize that all that nostalgia for Hendrix and Zeppelin is a bit revisionist (#1 hits from 1977 include Shaun Cassidy, Mannfred Mann, and Meco's disco cover of the "Star Wars" theme), I'd rather just blame Sasha Frere-Jones. Stupid "New Yorker" article.
* Update on an old story: Greg, the Quail's very own Cassandra, actually scooped this story back in early October. France, per President Sarkozy, is now policing its internet users. If you get caught illegally downloading music three times, the French government reserves the right to cut off your internet access, in addition to the up to three year prison sentence for downloading. How does the government figure out who's been downloading what? By monitoring your web habits through your ISP. And in other news, the French are now at war with Eurasia and have always been at war with Eurasia.
* U.S. District Court Judge Florence-Marie Cooper has "tentatively ruled" that new defendants, including Marion "Suge" Knight, former police officer Rafael Perez, and members of the LAPD, can be added to the Wallace family's wrongful death suit against the city of Los Angeles for events related to the death of Christopher "Biggie" Wallace. Did you know that Biggie was only 24 when he died? (He died when I was in high school, but now that I'm in my mid-twenties, 24 doesn't seem so old.)
* And as long as we're talking about tumbling into irrelevance, John Edwards is hitting the campaign trail with Jackson Browne and Bonnie Raitt. If you don't know who Jackson Browne and Bonnie Raitt are, consult your local baby boomer.

Happy Return to the Quail! And News on Joe Francis!

Aloha, all:

As my first post after being back from end-of-year semester project hell and Thanksgiving break, I'd like to give y'all a little update on Mr. Joe Francis.

Mr. Francis, mastermind of the "Girls Gone..." empire, served some time in a Florida jail for contempt of court while facing trial on charges including prostitution and using minors in a sexual performance. At the same time, Francis was indicted in Nevada on federal charges of tax evasion. After his stay in Florida, Francis was transferred to a federal prison in Oklahoma, while awaiting his final transfer to Nevada for trial. Francis now claims that he endured torture and abuse from the guards at the Oklahoma federal facility, including denying him food and threatening to strap him naked to a chair for 48 hours. Is it terrible that I really don't care about what happens to boys like Joe Francis in prison?

EDIT: And I have no idea if that girl that he's holding is conscious.

Archbishop of Canterbury Calls United States Worst Imperial Power Ever

In a wide-ranging and almost comprehensible critique of American foreign policy and the conduct of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, Rowan Williams, a cranky lunatic who also happens to be the Archbishop of Canterbury, said that the US is the worst imperial power ever.

As the head of the Church of England, Williams felt compelled to draw this distinction between our foreign policy in Iraq and the British treatment of India:

“It is one thing to take over a territory and then pour energy and resources into administering it and normalising it. Rightly or wrongly, that’s what the British Empire did — in India, for example. It is another thing to go in on the assumption that a quick burst of violent action will somehow clear the decks and that you can move on and other people will put it back together — Iraq, for example.”

Royal English must define some words differently than us Yanks: "administering" and "normalising" apparently have the same meaning as "violently subjugating" and "ruthlessly exploiting" would on this side of the pond; "clear[ing] the decks" and letting "other people ... put it back together" are roughly analogous to "overthrowing a dictator and maintaining a military presence for 4 and a half years."

He closes us out with this candidate for understatement of the century: Williams said the Muslim world must acknowledge that its “political solutions were not the most impressive”.

I am not defending the mistakes we've made in Iraq, or Afghanistan, nor do I want to play down the enlightened rulership the British so gracefully allowed the Indians to flourish under for 340 years, but saying that Islamo-Fascist theocratic governments managed by genocidal maniacs is "not the most impressive" political solution is letting them off a little light, don't you think?