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Dogster - it's Facebook for dogs.

So...do you like poke other dogs online?

Cannot get enough of Mr. Splashy Pants

Some people, who affectionately call themselves "TreeHugger.com," are beckoning people to vote against Mr. Splashy Pants.


For those of you that missed it, the article should explain itself, but basically, Greenpeace is holding a contest to name a humpback whale it's tracking, and "Mr. Splashy Pants" is winning by about 75%, checking in with 76% of the vote. Excellent.

Dude, Seriously? Someone Call Bono.

Remember Fred Phelps's church in Kansas, the one that took to picketing funerals of persons that they found offensive?

In the wake of losing an $11M lawsuit, Phelps's church has opted to become a lightening rod for more trouble, after distributing this video of a song called "God Hates the World," a clever if reprehensible version of "We Are the World."

We here at the Quail eagerly await the copyright infringement suit that is sure to come. We'll keep you posted.

Wow: This Woman and Lakshmi Tatmae Should Get Coffee

First and foremost, the photo above isn't of the woman I'm about to write about; the photo is of Monica Bellucci, the film star. But when I Googled "woman freak" to find a picture to accompany this story, Google Image mysteriously suggested this photo of Monica Bellucci. So I posted it. Though I'm really curious...if Google Image thinks Monica Bellucci is a freak, what does this mean for the rest of us who lack Y chromosomes? Hebbard--any theories?

Anyway, so this post is really about Wang Fang, an amiable waitress from Chongqing City, China, who was born with her feet on backwards. Really. And she's made it 27 years with this, um, different ability and has no plans to change the orientation of her feet...in part because it enables her to outrun most of her friends.

Think I'm kidding? Make the jump, and come back and tell me about it.

EDIT: The Quail Editorial Board is in no way suggesting that 4 year-old Tatmae should consume coffee, as well.

Scotland Pays £125,000 for "Welcome to Scotland"

That's roughly $258,000, or $15,176 per letter; the ad execs at The Leitch Group must be laughing all the way to the bank.

Jedi-worshipers congregate outside Harrison Ford's ranch

Yeah, this is pretty self-explanatory. A group of people who claim to practice Jedi-ism have assumed Harrison Ford (the man, not Han Solo the character) as their leader, going so far as to pray outside his Wyoming ranch.

A couple of issues here:

1.) Why is Han the object of their worship? Granted, Ford is MUCH hotter than Mark Hamill, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't a Jedi.

2.) According to one poll, Jedi-ism is the 4th largest belief system in Britain. Wow.

3.) I wonder if people actually recognize the distinction between Ford and his character — i.e. one is a mostly regular dude 30 years removed from this single role in a movie, and the other is, that's right, a film character in a fictional universe.

Of course I'm just being facetious, because we all should believe that people would be cognizant of this. Yet, where is this connection people make when they go so far as to pray to celebrities personally? Do they expect anything from it?

Regardless, Ford's reaction is my favorite part, and what I hope to say when inevitably I am mistakenly worshiped later in life: "It's flattering," he says, "but I can't accept their prayers."

Top 10 Beards of the Year

Check out the Top 10 beards of the year from the 2007 World Beard and Moustache Championships in Brighton, England.

Hoax or Just Horrifying?

Gawker, Jezebel, and InvestorSpot are reporting that used condoms are being recycled into hair bands.

I would like to think this is a hoax, but the accompanying photos after the jump (which are safe for work) make me wonder.

Christmas Lights Ensnare Drunken Moose

Only in Alaska.

Rick Sinnott, a Fish and Game biologist, says the moose has a goofy look on his face, but added that there isn't much that can be done with a drunken moose: "These country moose can't always hold their liquor."

Thanks to KP for the tip.

Florida Snowmen Demand Answers

In anticipation of the CNN/YouTube presidential debates coming up this week, Billiam the Snowman showed up to ask this question about global warming:


From The Washington Post:

In an interview Wednesday with the Manchester (N.H.) Union Leader, Romney said he's not a fan of the CNN/YouTube format. Referring to the video of a snowman asking the Democratic candidates about global warming, Romney quipped, "I think the presidency ought to be held at a higher level than having to answer questions from a snowman."

Billiam has this to say:


There is nothing more I can say about this. God Bless America.

Greenpeace Holds Vote to Name Adopted Whale, "Mister Splashy Pants" Ahead In A Landslide

Greenpeace is having an open vote to name the whale they have adopted, and as of 12:00AM Tuesday, Mister Splashy Pants is winning in a landslide. You can have your say if you want.

Enjoy the loosely related video.

More news from the wide world of sports, or football

Keeping the light news separated from the heavy, here are a couple news items of the weird from the last couple days in the sports nation.

- Due to a rain delay last night, The NFL decided to forego the National Anthem before last night's game between Pittsburgh and Miami. This is just an interesting oversight of a time-honored tradition. Though I'm sure whatever C-list celebrity they had to sing before the Steelers played the 0-10 Dolphins was happy he or she did not have to be out there in the cold rain, how long does the Anthem really take? Three, maybe four minutes?

- And now for something completely different, but awesome nonetheless. I have the video of yet ANOTHER Auburn player being bitten by a dog during a game. Auburn head coach Tommy Tuberville claims this is the first instance he's seen of a dog bite in a game, but, obviously he doesn't remember Uga going after an Auburn player back in 1996, which, luckily, is also shown in the video. Oh, and the dog bite is listed on the injury report. Enjoy!

Today in Douchebags

Just when you thought online-dating was safe for normal, healthy human beings, John Fitzgerald Page, "Ivy League Grad," is on the scene.

Dubbed " the worst person in the world"by Gawker and despised the world over by women and other persons with some common sense alike, Mr. Page had a rather heated and now well-publicized exchange with a potential partner using Match.com. When a potential date rejected Mr. Page's messages through Match.com, he sent many a missive back, chronicled here by Gawker. Page has actually gotten so much press because of the incident that he appeared on CBS "Early Show" to explain his behavior.

As an Ivy League grad myself, I'd like to say to Page: Thanks for making us all look bad. See you at the reunion, putz.
EDIT: And ladies, he lives in Atlanta. Watch out.

Santa the latest on the P.C. censorship list

Australian Santa Clauses are getting briefed this year on ways they can possibly corrupt children, and one of the chief problems, so it's said, is his use of the phrase "ho ho ho".

As the term "ho" is a derogatory slight toward prostitutes, Santas in Sydney have been instructed to say "ha ha ha" as an alternative in an attempt to be less offensive. My favorite quote from the article, uttered by Julie Gale, "who runs the campaign against sexualising children called Kids Free 2B Kids":

"Leave Santa alone."

Seriously. Dude has been "ho-ing" for years.

The Black Market Candy Trade

Reason Magazine posts an amusing story from Boulder, CO about a high school student and his thriving black market candy business at his school where the sweet stuff has been banned. From the post:

"I offered to help him buy the product, if he would pay me back,” Richard said. “We sat down and did the math. He was getting 90 in a box that cost about $12 dollars. Based on what he was able to sell an AirHead for, he was getting a 900 percent profit — almost a tenfold markup. That seemed like a pretty good enterprise. He was clearing at least $150 a week in profit."

Getting high on sewage gas apparently not as cool as once thought

To my dismay, it appears that the news I broke a couple weeks ago regarding Jenkem, a drug made from the gas of human sewage, turned out to be a hoax.

Greg got a tip on this from a random source, and suggested I check out Snopes.com for the lowdown, which is reproduced here. Though it is possible that Jenkem exists, the police report in Collier County, Florida, that I posted was based on "schoolyard chat," which, clearly, is always a reliable source.

Why am I disappointed that kids in Florida are not inhaling excrement?

Zombies!!

Matt Wells, a friend of the Quail and fellow law student, emailed this on Friday:

"Apparently Zombie attacks have been a problem for, oh, lets say 5000 years. A tomb was uncovered in Hierakonpolis that contained a dead body whose brain was infected by Solanum, the Zombie virus. There were also scratch marks all over the tomb walls from where the zombie was trying to escape.

Luckily the archaeologist have a zombie defense plan."

Happy Friday, Kids!

Since the Quail has been a whole lot of gloom, doom, and coverage of droughts, flies, and other signs of the endtimes today, I have some non-news to report.

Today...in Snakes!
- A local Texan, Jackie Bibby, set a new world record on Monday by lying in a bathtub for 45 minutes with 87 rattlesnakes, none of which were defanged. If this guy isn't single, he should be. Yikes.
- Theives in the West Midlands, UK stole a six-foot boa constrictor, ten other snakes (including a four-foot Black King snake), cash, and a Nissan Micra. The robbery itself is weird enough, but who the hell keeps that many snakes on hand?

African Pundits Make Keen Insights into U.S. Politics
- AllAfrica.com reprinted Nicholas Sengoba's column from this week's Kampala "Monitor" about Why "Big Brother Is Better Than Elections". The article actually parallels the reality show to Ugandan politics, but I find that you can just as easily substitute "American elections" and "American Idol."

Biscuits and Beer: All That's Missing Are the Fine Bitches (Who Will Be at Quail-fest Tonight)
- For those of you who are punking out, not coming to tonight's Quail extravaganza, and going to Atlanta instead, note that the Candler Park Flying Biscuit has a Sweetwater beer dinner special tonight, November 9. Basically, the Biscuit will be serving a special three-course meal with three separate Sweetwater select brews. More details after the jump.

Oprah Gives Love Advice
- CNN has a link to Oprah.com on "How to (Not) Get a Man", looking at the advice given by books like "The Rules" and explaining why that doesn't work. Now, like every other middle class woman--hell, every woman--in America, I love me some Oprah. Which is why I'm not going to make a joke here about Oprah not actually having a man herself. I'll leave that to y'all.

[Insert Magic Wand Joke Here]
- And "Equus," also known as the "Naked Harry Potter Play," is coming over to Broadway in September 2008. Daniel Radcliffe will be reprising the central role for the play's '08 Broadway run.

Deep Breath: News Dump

As I've been having trouble getting my synapses to fire all day long, hopefully my thoughts conveyed themselves well in my previous post. I have another one online, so hopefully that will make its way up today. In the meantime, here are some new news items and some leftovers for your early afternoon perusal.

- Possibly of highest importance, the Canadian Dollar is now at $1.10. Shit. In fact, there’s a lot more going on with the dollar, and here are a BUNCH of economic issues.

- From the world of film, here's a review of the new Bob Dylan flick. If it's anything like any other Dylan film, it should be pretty awesome.

- Floating in the abyss of the weird, Scientologists are being harmlessly useful.

- Finally, in lighter news, Disney's Michael Eisner calls the Hollywood writers' strike "stupid." Hmmm, is that because they're trying to take money from you that's rightfully theirs? Incredible.

UK 16-Year-Old Gets Best Birthday Surprise Ever

Clearly, my parents did not love me as much as this kid's parents do.

Nobody has brought this up, yet, but what about the stripper? Is it normal for her to go into a high school to perform? Does she normally get to finish the show? Did she get paid?