How To Go To Jail

Scotsman bucks tradition, does it with style.

John McCain Acting Old

Last night was John McCain's 10th visit to the Daily Show. I used to admire McCain, especially during his 2000 primary campaign, but I have to admit that he just seems a little lost out there these days. For some reason his interview last night kind of reminded me of Tiger Woods giving his caddy a high-five.

Video Killed The Radio Star

So now you're telling me the internet kills newspapers? I'm sure you'd like me to believe that the telephone killed the telegraph, too.

There Is No Possible Way...

That this could be good news.

Call it a moment of clarity, but something about China and Russia getting together and making nice kinda scares me. They seem nice enough, but one is a huge totalitarian oligarchy with money to burn, and the other has an arsenal that would make Emperor Palpatine cringe. All Russia wants is to find a nice home for all those nukes, and nice homeowners who will pay in cold, hard cash.



I hope these robots aren't made in China.

New Single From Beck Coming Monday

Everyone's favorite Scientologist (yep, Beck is down with L. Ron) is releasing a new single on Monday through Itunes.

"If SEC football were mediocre, the South might as well be back in Reconstruction."

Thanks, ESPN.

Pat Forde argues that the SEC is a better conference than the Pac-10. We at the Pasty Quail would agree, but Forde's method of argument is questionable — at the very least — as his reasoning says very little about football and a lot about strangely-worded backhanded compliments.

Make 'em say uhhhh. . .

. . . na na na na. Lil' Romeo (aka Master P Jr.) is playing Division I basketball.

First they legalize "the dope;" now this?

Speaking of the Southern Baptist Convention, I'm sure they'd love this Dutchman's suggestion (a Catholic Dutchman no less).

VISA 1, Cash 0

The Pasty Quail has agreed that VISA's attack on paying in cash is a little absurd (see the spot under "View Food Court TV Commercial" here).

However, one man in Muncie, Indiana, proved that those cash-hating bastards may in fact have a point.

Rudy's Foreign Policy Is a Joke

Slate's Fred Kaplan takes a cut at Rudy Guiliani's latest foreign policy paper.

I'm glad I flew this Airline to Amsterdam

For those of you afraid of flying (more specifically landing), be glad your pilots are not trying to see how close to the ground they can get when you're on the plane.

Britney Goes Bonkers Again

Allure magazine is running a feature describing Britney Spears' erratic behavior during a photoshoot and interview session.

I really can't help but wonder what the hell is going on there. Is she doing it for attention? Is she so drugged up that she doesn't realize how the rest of the world percieves her? Is she geniunely insane?

If you haven't been paying attention to this story over the past few months, here is a recap:

The Problem With Wikipedia

Public Service Announcement: You Should Put Off Your Next Ipod Purchase For A Few Months

Insiders are speculating that a new Ipod design is on the way (possibly the oft rumored Wide Screen - HD version), so you might want to hold off on sending another $300 to Apple for now.

More Presidential Candidates Looking Like Douchebags

By the way, this feature badly needs a new title. Anybody out there have any bright ideas?

God Really Is Everywhere!!

In the grand tradition of making enormous amounts of money off of the name of God, there is news that he has revealed himself in the form of an eggplant and an oil smudge on the garage floor. (Thanks Liso)

YoutubeGoogle Wants to Depose Jon Stewart

YoutubeGoogle plans to depose Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert in preparation for its defense against Viacom (parent company of Comedy Central and MTV), who is suing the internet giant for copyright infringement.

This could be laying the foundation for a groundbreaking legal defense in which the online video distributor will attempt to show that Viacom's on-air talent has benefited from the free publicity provided by their services. Maybe new media will actually win one this time. Also, it will probably be hilarious.

News Flash: The US Government Spends Billions Annually on Propaganda

And thats just what is aimed at the American people. Link

Update on America's Prison Crisis

Here is more on the massive numbers of Americans currently being held in our prison system.

I'm not sure I'm quite ready to speak to the racial connotations of this post, but I promise I will come back to it soon.

I Guess I Can Scrap My Plans For The Flux Capacitor

The Daily Mail, perhaps the world's greatest source for scientific news, reports that two German scientists claim to have demonstrated that the speed of light can be broken.

Bringing the Internets to you, one post at a time

Meaningless, trite, confusing and hilarious corporate slogans.

Re-setting the Bar

In this advanced technological age, we human-types have the capacity to create a variety of do-it-yourself entertainment projects.

This group of young entrepreneurs has upped the ante.

Bringing the Mall to the Masses

When fulfilling the hajj, Muslims will have a new tourist destination to visit.

In theory, Communism works!

In this editor's opinion, it seems that those who advocate the general consummation of Church and State neglect the reality of which church, exactly, would be running said state.

Rev. Drake implies that he would advocate a Southern Baptist government. This is fair from his perspective, but what of the others involved in the "movement" to unify Church and State that disagree with the longstanding tradition of The Truly Reverend? It's tough to shake the notion that the AME (among others) might be slightly miffed if the Southern Baptist Convention took control of Washington.

Hmmm. . . myriad religious sects grappling for control of a theocracy. This sounds strangely familiar.

Ode to Bobby Cox

I'm a day late on this, but congrats to Braves manager Bobby Cox for setting the all-time record for ejections by a manager.

God Won't Be The Only One Watching You In the Shower

Your creepy Uncle Sam will be watching too. Ahh, just like home.

Several Million Brains Are Better Than A Few Thousand

In other news, the owner's of Domino's, Pizza Hut, and Papa John's just bought yachts.

The Pasty Quail Answers Your Questions About Canada

You know, in Canada, they don't call it Canadian Bacon.

Note: If you're really interested in bacon, here's all you could ever want to know. I haven't edited this page at all...

And Finally Some Good News

Canadian scientists have discovered a gene that can turn-off the development of cancer cells.

David Stern would be pissed

We really need to see more of this.

Why School is Better than the Workplace

Link.

I H8 Vanity Plates

The Man keeps it down in Vermont.

More Poisoned Goods From China

There is a new report that claims that there are amounts of lead found on some types of baby bibs that are being shipped from China to the US. This follows a major recall of children's toys due to the improper levels of lead in the paint.

The Universe Is, Like, Huuuuge, Man

Nick Bostrom, a philosopher at Oxford University, has caluculated that there is a 20 percent chance that we are living in a giant life simulator. Seriously.

Improper Editing on Wikipedia

Next time you head over to Wikipedia to settle a drunken argument with your friends, you might want to remember that anyone can edit these entries. Oh, you already knew that? Were you aware that international corporations, government agencies, and political campaigns have been accused of removing information on their pages?

Luckily, somebody from the internets has come to the rescue, and released a program that will reveal the computer that was used to make the edit.

Atlanta's MARTA Does Something Right

With major transit projects like the Beltline years away, and the Atlanta population booming, MARTA has introduced a high-tech bus system that will be easily applicable to a number of key roadways.

There is also talk of a new tram system running along Peachtree Street between Lenox and Underground. However, the benefits of such a system would be mostly in the aesthetics. How about trying one of these bus systems out there first?

John From Cincinnati Cancelled

I never met anybody who had anything bad to say about the show, but I also heard repeatedly that it was 'weird'. Anyways, HBO cancelled 'John' today.

If you are keeping track, that leaves the network in a fairly precarious position. The network appears to be without a surefire hit for the first time in years. The Sopranos, Sex and the City, Six Feet Under, and Deadwood have all ended. Additionally, the Wire only has one season left and the 4th season of Entourage seems to be as unstable as ever. Next up for the Home Box Office is what it promises will be the raunchiest show on tv, Tell Me You Love Me. However, I have doubts that it is going to be a long term solution.

So, what has happened to HBO? Dry Spell? Showtime has stolen its thunder? The networks and basic cable channels are out-HBOing HBO? Its hard to tell from my point of view, but maybe you guys have some ideas. Have at it.

Is The Whole OJ Thing Funny Yet?

In order to avoid confusion with the hit Dave Matthews Band song, OJ will call the book If I Did It.

More Credibility Issues

How is it that the 'land of the free' houses 25 percent of the World's prison population?

The Penalty?

Death.

I Love the Smell of Anarcho-Libertarian Socialism in the Morning

Noam Chomsky on the use of modern media to exert control over democratic citizens.

Election '08 News Flash:

Candidate Ignores Voter.

Who Says The Government Has a Credibility Problem?

By my count, this puts the local government of Shreveport only about 15 years out of touch. I guess its not so bad when you realize that they are actually considering reinstituting prohibition in a Northern Alabama town today.

Not just for mountain hicks anymore

Snake-handling (or eel, frog and turtle-handling) apparently has spread to New Jersey.

“I could foresee it coming, though, with more ethnic groups moving into the country,” [Mark] Boriek [New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection biologist] said. “It is more of an issue these days.”

A well-constructed correlation. Next, the Jihadists will start dropping desert scorpions in the streets.

Review of the day/century

Here's another high-brow, intellectually challenging review from our friends at Pitchfork, this time to chronicle the sonic brilliance of the latest Jet record.

Young and Homeless in America

Photo essay here.

A Global Economy At Work

Britons are hit hard by the champagne shortage, while the Kentuckians are having trouble makin' it rain.

Next Stop, Dystopia

Big Brother is watching Yu.

Next Stop, Dystopia

Honestly, it's like no-one in DC has ever seen "I, Robot". The robots aren't even pretending like they've never seen it.

But is the Robo-Surge staving off the draft?

The End of An Era

So, it's over.

Despite some concern over how the Dem's will carry on without MC Rove, one or two are making a valiant effort to carry on.

Update: Is Rove moving to Fred Thompson's camp?

War in the 21st Century

There seem to be a lot of people in high places that are concerned about this.

Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit says: "On the upside... it doesn't involve cities getting blown up.

How Do Credit Scores Work?

And how to fix yours after you broke the bank on that big-ass HDtv.

An Interview With the Man Himself...

Yes, he is old and largely irrelevant, but an interview with Iggy Pop still deserves a post.

Various degrees of political dissent

Renowned contrarian and Slate magazine contributor Christopher Hitchens, or old Hitch, as he's known back home, has provided another thought-provoking read.

God-dog

Pay attention to your dog. It may be keeping more secrets than you'd like to think.

Startin' the week off right (kind of)

A long time ago — though its actual date may still be debated — The Christians usurped Sunday from the weekend, influencing calendar manufacturers to replace Monday as first day of the week so that God's day would be first instead of last.

With this in mind, churchgoers easily turn phrases such as "start the week off right with a little God injection," along with other irritating things someone can say in chastizement to those who choose not to attend. Further, by pretending that Sunday is the first day of the week, suspended beer sales in the Bible Belt can be written off by a simple statement like "well, the week's started now, better get it in gear."

Monday is for recovery. Not Sunday.

I'd like to announce that at least one editor at the Pasty Quail would like to reintegrate Sunday into the weekend, taking his day of rest where God intended when He created the earth 6,000 years ago — the end of the week.

Here's another, more coherent discussion of Sunday observance.

All Those Under 26 Can Breathe A Little Easier...

The Pentagon won't be disrupting your drinking habits in the near future.

Um, ok.

I was a huge fan of The Rocket when I was a Notre Dame fan as a kid. Never an NFL star, he's found a new calling.