How to make a tomato glow. Don't eat the tomato.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
In Case You Come and Hang Out With Us
Here's a guide to first aid for injuries resulting from a temporary loss of motor function.
Respect-O-Meter dropping
The Nuge is all right by The Pasty Quail. However, this is ridiculous.
We have to hand it to him for doing the same thing for the Right as Bono and many others do for the Left. But at the same time, he does the same thing for the Right as Bono does for the Left, and that makes him suck equally.
Celebrating Heathenry
A quick note from the man who sparked the prayer in school debate back in 1963.
This editor mentioned the other day (complete with an appearance from Chuck Norris) that he is an advocate for teaching religion in public schools, which is a sharp distinction from having prayer in school. Prayer in school should not be mandated, but to go the opposite way and try to completely ignore that religion exists in the world is pretty ridiculous.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Maintain Your Pre-Lunch Productivity Levels In The Afternoon
Surprisingly, all it takes is eating right and taking a nap.
Wireless Electricity On The Way
MIT researches have successfully tested their new wireless electricity delivery system. This admitedly dated article explains how it will work.
The Iphone . . . Now Without AT&T
You can now unlock your iphone and use it with other providers. Although, I don't think this will help Verizon customers since you will need to be able to use sim cards.
Why Hasn't Fred Announced Yet?
Earlier this summer, Fred Thompson set the conservative political blogs wagging about his potential run for the White House in 2008. Pundits were ecstatic about his mix of folksy Southern roots (He drives a pick up truck!) and Hollywood acting chops. It was as if Reagan himself had risen from the grave and resurrected the hopes and dreams of conservative America with him.
Unfortunately for his camp, Fred couldn't capitalize, and now we are still playing the 'will he or won't he game.' Granted, we still have 4 months before the primary season starts, and over 14 months before the general election; however, I still find myself wondering what the hold up is.
Pajamas Media takes a look at the political pressure on Fred to get in the game already.
Does The Term 'Indie Music' Still Apply?
Is it a problem that the term indie is now considered to be a particular genre of music, especially considering the fact that most of what is considered indie is neither independently produced or distributed? Owen Adams at the Guardian ponders this question and more.
This the same problem that we went through in the mid-90's when alternative music went mainstream. Unfortunately for contemporary music fans, that was about the time that alternative music started to suck.
More Presidential Candidates Looking Like Douchebags
I'm quickly running out of material here, this extended campaign season blows.
Oh yeah, thats Dennis Kucinich with the always lovely Cindy Sheehan (ahem).
Also, I'm still looking for a new title for this feature. Please email suggestions to thepastyquail@gmail.com or just leave them in the comments section.
Disaster Averted?
There is surprising news this morning that new home sales were up in July. Lets hope this is a trend. Unfortunately, given the instability in the lending market, I don't expect the good news to last.
For Those Friday Afternoon Stuck in the Office Blues
Here are 15 sites that will give you something to do besides work.
A History of Realism in the Middle East
Realism is a theory of international relations that holds that nations will always operate in their own self interest. The application of this theory by the United States in recent history has been to prop up brutal dictatorships (see all of South America) and provide military aid to groups who are likely to turn around and attack us later (see the Taliban and Iraq). Clearly, this whole plan has worked out great for us!
On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart gave a rundown on just how convoluted the political situation is in the Middle East. In case you were unaware, its pretty f'd up.
Iranian TV Does Expose on the Evils of Rock and Roll, Hilarity Ensues
Check here for a video from Iranian tv on the pervasive influence of Western popular culture on Iranian youth.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
The Pasty Quail: A Retrospective and Prospectus
In existence nearly one month, The Pasty Quail has spent many hours surfing this series of tubes called "the internets" for you, dear reader.
We surely have an agenda when it comes to reading and relaying news and notes from a day in the life on earth. In the spirit of fairness, please join in on the conversation: send us a tip, make a comment, leave a suggestion, or just bitch about how offended you are. You can't spell community without U.
We appreciate your viewership and look foward to a promising future as the voice of several twenty-somethings.
With this in mind, here's a snapshot of our brief history to date:
- Greatest Five Seconds In Film History
- I, For One, Welcome Our Robot Overlords (For more on robots, see here, and here)
- A Few Public Service Announcements.
- Check out the How To section.
- Election 2008 coverage here.
- A Guy Shaves His Thumbs to use his iphone.
- A Love Story Gone Horribly Wrong.
- The Apocalypse is coming. For more religion news, see here. To get help, go here.
- Newsflash: It's All Your Fault
Oh, and China has been in the news. A lot.
I Can't Believe We Missed This
So, today we've covered creepy emo sex fantasies, poisoned Chinese pyjamas, raccoon eyeballs in jars, and death by camel humping. All in all a fine day of news in this editor's opinion.
So I figure we should finish off the day with something light. The felony charges against Lindsey Lohan have been dropped!
Well, at least not on those charges. Its only a matter of time though, how else will she be able to make a dramatic recovery from drug and alcohol addiction, release a tell all book, and film a movie about her harrowing experiences in the big house? Come to think of it, Im absolutely seeing that movie when it comes out. (Thanks Nate)
UPDATE: In other celebrity-chick-gone-off-the-deep-end news, Britney Spears released the first new tune off of her new album; find it here, at Perez Hilton.com. I personally don't know, but how does this compare to Mariah Carey's first effort after she lost it? Any Mariah Carey fans out there who can help us out?
Craig's List didn't work out so well for this guy
So, you come home from a tough day at work (or the bar), and there's your roommate, with a raccoon's eye in a jar.
Apparently the roommate is a Wiccan high priestess. Without judgment toward either side, if this guy was so freaked out about this, how did he end up living with her in the first place?
The Ultimate Union
We often find ourselves wondering "when will some emo kids get off their ass and write some fan fiction?"
Well, for those who like emo, and for those who like fan fiction, rest easy. The marriage has been consummated.
These are the future indie kids of America. So outcast, so cool, yet so sensitive.
The Battle of Kirkuk?
Slate has a great article on the internal struggle in Iraq over the fate of Kirkuk. The city is located in the Northern part of the country and is a traditional stronghold of the Kurdish people, but it is also situated on top of some of the nation's most valuable oil fields and has a significant Arab minority. A peaceful solution to the current standoff could be key to establishing a stable government in Iraq.
More Poisoned Goods From China
In what is becoming a regular feature here at the quail, there is more news of poisoned goods being exported from China. I am wondering how these incidents will effect US retailers, such as Walmart, that rely on cheap Chinese manufacturing to provide low cost items. I am also wondering what the hell formaldehyde (commonly used as an embalming fluid) is doing anywhere near children's pyjama production lines.
Scientists Close to Creating Artificial Life
The article here explains that there may be just "three major hurdles to creating synthetic life:
(1) A container, or membrane, for the cell to keep bad molecules out, allow good ones, and the ability to multiply.
(2) A genetic system that controls the functions of the cell, enabling it to reproduce and mutate in response to environmental changes.
(3) A metabolism that extracts raw materials from the environment as food and then changes it into energy."
I honestly have no idea what any of that means, but it sounds at least plausible. Of course, I must warn you to take our science coverage with a grain of salt.
How To: Keep Your Schedule From Driving You Crazy
Here are 9 habits that you should break immediately.
Our Atlanta Readers Might Want to Amend Their Weekend Plans
Buckhead's 5 Paces might be out of commission for the next few days. As you can see from the picture below, some drunk girl drove her car through the front door last night. Whoops. (Thanks EZ)
If anyone was around when this happened, please send us an email.
Update: New picture of the aftermath.
Proposed Bill Is Evidence Of Incompetence In Atlanta
I posted an article a few weeks ago regarding a law in Shreveport, Louisiana that would ban the sagging pants menace, which is clearly plaguing modern America, from its streets. At the time, I thought it was a quaint reminder that conservative Americans still have some pull in certain parts of the country.
Then I see this. Apparently, the Atlanta city council is proposing a similar law. What do these people think the Atlanta police do all day? Oh, right. Seriously though, the police force must have something better to do with their time then run around enforcing a dress code.
At best, this proposal is outdated, misguided, and puts us in league with other 'great cosmopolitan centers' such as Shreveport. Fantastic.
Mating Causes Death!
If you happen to be a camel, and your partner of choice is a 60 year old cattle rancher.
Thanks to Matt for the tip.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Her life just got a lot worse
Some questions are better left unanswered. Not saying she shouldn't have tried to catch her husband sleeping around, but this is just unfortunate.
God's Warriors
Just like it sounds. CNN is doing a report on fundamentalism in the three major Western religions (Judaism, Islam and Christianity), airing this week (we're a day late on this, Judaism was Tuesday night, with Islam tonight and Christianity tomorrow).
Regardless, here's an article and interview with the reporter, Christiane Amanpour.
Update (8/23/07): Amanpour got 2,201,000 on thursday night, finishing 2nd to O'Reilly in most watched cable news shows. I don't know what she normally gets, but those numbers look pretty good.
Update (8/24/07): Roger Simon takes Amanpour to task for unfairly comparing fundamentalist Christianity and Judaism with fundamentalist Islam. He says, "fundamentalists are a minority in Judaism and Christianity, while everybody is in one sense a fundamentalist in Islam."
Where does it end?
Well, Mr. Jobs, your quest (and success) in helping create technological brillance noted, what do you think of your house being on 24-hour watch?
People are so quick to complain about CCTV, and their arguments are just, but when the paparazzi doesn't even have to camp outside TomKat's house, the public probably won't be terribly distraught.
We'd better watch our backs
Reminiscent of a high-schooler's parents that get a teacher fired for giving their kid an "F" when he doesn't do any of the work, some jerk-off is suing for a negative book review.
To our to-be (and current) lawyer friends: the potential for a huge paycheck aside, is this a legitimate suit?
Hip Hop is Dead?
Time magazine on the fall of Hip Hop. The article is certainly correct in its assertion that Hip Hop is selling fewer records than in the past, but I'm not so sure that means fewer people are listening.
Russia Goes Ahead With Operation: Scare The $#!@ Out Of The West
This morning, the Guardian has an article on further expansion of Russian air power in response to US missile deployments in Eastern Europe (ie. former Soviet states).
This is on the heels of Russia's resumption of long range bomber patrols (ie more planes flying over the Atlantic and Pacific with Nukes loaded on them) which prompted this response from the Brits last week.
How To: Be A Commando
This site provides a number of videos that explain how to do things such as pick locks, get out of plastic handcuffs, or knock someone out with a matchbox. These could all be helpful in planning for the future on an ecologically ravaged planet or maybe just in preparation for a really crazy weekend.
I'm Finding it Difficult to Adhere to My "1 Flux Capacitor Joke Per Week" Rule
It has been announced that the Delorean will be making a comeback in 2008.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Ole Hitch Continues His Crusade Against Theism
For some reason, atheism has been on something of a winning streak over the last year. It all started last in September 2006 with Sam Harris' entry, A Letter to a Christian Nation. Then came the release of Richard Dawkins' latest book, The God Delusion; it later received the highest form of praise in our hyper-ironic culture when it was skewered by the South Park guys. Finally, Christopher Hitchens followed up his attack on Mother Teresa by taking on the big guy himself.
Surprisingly (or maybe not), there has been very little mainstream backlash against this flood of anti-religious literature. In fact, this editor can attest to the fact that his local North Atlanta (a traditional stronghold for all flavors of conservative christianity) Borders was unable to keep Hitchens' book in stock for at least the first week due to high demand. Of course, there were rumors of a massive bonfire being held at a local Baptist church.
Anyways, here is Hitchens' response to a weekend article in the New York Times magazine by Mark Lilla.
So much talent gone to waste
Yes, he may be receiving $15,000 a month in child support plus other expenses, I'm sure. All the while, he looks better and better as time slowly (read: increasingly by the second) chips away at Britney's lingering sanity.
Yet, K-Fed still can't catch a break in the music biz, even on a fictional television show.
"Let's face it, they're in the business to kill babies for profit"
Appropriately, a Planned Parenthood clinic in Denver has opted to construct its new headquarters privately. Way to let the cat out of the bag, Denver Post.
In all seriousness, though, I think the woman uttering the headline quote is slightly misinformed, just maybe.
Our warmest congratulations
Blind lady hits hole-in-one: this editor is not sure how this works, either, as he can hardly hit a driver in a straight line.
Regardless, well done, ma'am.
Ouch. I mean, ouch.
This editor is part of a tiny minority (I think it's around 4% of the population) who does not find midgets or dwarfs funny in any particular way. 
Continuing with that theme, this incident, which does involve a dwarf, is also not funny to me but ridiculous nonetheless.
Chuck Norris, at it again
For those of you expecting this post to rehash the cliched (yet still funny) Chuck Norris extravaganza from several years ago, look elsewhere.
However, our dear friend Chuck has found himself in the real news this time.
This editor of The Pasty Quail is an avid advocate for teaching historical and theoretical religion courses as electives in public schools, but ol' Chuck and those like-minded are exactly the reason it wouldn't work, and why our culture is (and will continue to be) religiously retarded.
Living in the Gilded Age
In another sign that the apocolypse is upon us, pet funeral homes are popping up all over the country.
From the AJC: "While a pianist played an elegiac funeral hymn, the solemn group watched images of their loved ones during a DVD tribute. The tribute flashed images of the departed at various stages of their lives: one snoozing under a blanket on his first birthday; another playing with toys on a Christmas morning; a third staring into the distance during his last years."
Also, there is a report that the UK's obesity problem is spreading to its pets.
Does this seem insane to anyone else, or should I consider investing in a small cabin in the woods and a typewriter?
More Presidential Candidates Looking Like Douchebags
Yup, that would be former 'Hero of 9/11' and 'America's Mayor" Rudy Guiliani in drag.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Scientists Hail 'Frozen Smoke' As New Wonder Material
Known as Aerogel, this material is considered one of the lightest solids in the world. It is expected that it could usher in some of the world's greatest scientific breakthroughs.
Honey, Do You Know Where I Put the Horsehead Nebula?
Don't panic, but 96% of the universe is missing. While this seems to have caused some concern amongst scientist, I'm sure it'll turn up soon. Did anyone look behind Orion?
Rehab (and Toilets) are for Quitters
I don't know what's scarier. The fact that someone pissed in a casino chair, or the fact that the casinos have a procedure for this kind of thing.
Iranian Republican Guard Shells Kurdish Towns
In a move that is sure to raise alarm bells in Washington, Iranian soldiers began shelling Kurdish-controlled towns in Northern Iraq over the weekend. It seems like this Iran v The West situation has been escalating for quite some time now, how far can this go before we find ourselves at total war?
Entire Catalog of Calvin and Hobbes Comics Available Online
In case you are looking for something to do other than working/paying attention in class/pondering your place in the universe here is a site containing links to every Calvin and Hobbes strip ever produced.
Oregon Woman Initiating Class Action Lawsuit Against RIAA
From a post on Slashdot: "The amended complaint seeking class action status sues for negligence, fraud, negligent misrepresentation, federal and state RICO, abuse of process, malicious prosecution, intentional infliction of emotional distress, violation of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, trespass, invasion of privacy, libel and slander, deceptive business practices, misuse of copyright law, and civil conspiracy."
EU Seeking to Regulate the Powerful London Financial Sector
I find myself wondering how this will effect the widening global credit crisis. However, this is probably good news for New York, which has seen its share of the global financial markets shrink since September 11.
The Age-Old Question
Should religion mix with politics? Clearly, it does in American society, and useless hypotheticals such as this are irrelevant practically. However, that doesn't mean that we can't sit around and wax philosophical.
It does seem strange that many folk make an unequivocal correlation between creed and morality, i.e. if a politician is "Christian," he or she automatically believes that "drugs are bad, mmm-k?" As we have seen, this is not always the case.
We are all on drugs
The Pasty Quail will always take statistics with a grain of salt, but regardless, many of the people you know (no, not just your grandparents) are fucked up on painkillers.
While the rumors are true that a Vicodin washed down with a couple beers can make for quite the pleasurable evening, is seems rather strange that pharmacists will deny women the pill but have no qualms about handing out addictive drugs like they're candy.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
My First Retraction
So, that article about scientists breaking the speed of light, might have been slightly dubious. Shocking.
Down With Bottled Water
As you might have already noticed, we here at the pasty quail rarely get too excited about environmental issues. Yes, humanity is certainly having an impact on the earth, but it is very likely that an infinite number of other forces throughout the universe are having an impact as well. The fact of the matter is, we just don't know enough about the universe to start making rash decisions that could retard global economic growth and prevent us from making greater scientific discoveries in the future.
With that said, I fully believe that being wasteful is bad. Driving a Hummer around North Atlanta is wasteful, housing 4 people in a 25 room mansion is wasteful, and drinking bottled water is wasteful.
Wait, smoking is unhealthy?
As an unapologetic yet self-conscious smoker, this editor of The Pasty Quail is highly critical of what Slate magazine's William Saletan refers to as the the international jihad against tobacco.
Granted, this topic is neither new nor groundbreaking, but the article plays a nice middle ground (Saletan is a professed non-smoker), and uses "logic" — a novel concept — to point out how smoking bans may have merit, but treating smokers like farm animals certainly does not.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
