The Pasty Quail Almost Interviews Ralph Reed

Today, a member of the Pasty Quail staff came very close to interviewing the former candidate for Lieutenant Governor Ralph Reed.

Realizing that he was dangerously close to doing actual reporting (something we clearly try to avoid around here), he decided to just sit there on his computer and chat about it with another staffer instead; you can find the rather entertaining chat after the jump.

Here's the trick: We've changed the names. Leave your guesses as to who's who in the comments.

Ah, the magic of unintentional publicity

Via Deadspin, here's a heartwarming story about two bright, entrepreneurial young women trying to raise awareness for breast cancer in Salina, Kansas.

The t-shirts shown in the picture here, which I think are quite clever and humorous, were banned from their high school because they were deemed inappropriate. As a result, Internet buzz about the phenomenon (to which I will gladly contribute) has skyrocketed their sales, ridiculously exceeding their expectations for the idea.

Take that, unnecessary sexual repression.

Old News

I know that this particular interview with Seth Rogen (Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin) is over 4 months old, placing it in a category with news about how sweet the iPhone will be. However, any insight into how Rogen and Judd Apatow have created a couple of great (but short-lived) TV shows, and some of the funniest movies to come out in years is welcome here.

Tennessee Sucks, Yeah!

In some sort of attempt to make us all feel better about Tennessee manhandling UGA a couple weeks ago, this article on The Great Pumpkin, Phil Fulmer and his lack of winning an SEC title since '98 is pretty inspiring.

My hatred for Tennessee runs deep, of course, but even long before I was a UGA fan. When I first moved to Georgia in middle school, there was a kid on our bus that loved Tennessee. His dad would always wait outside their house with him, and the entire place (including the car) was all decked out in UT crap (the images of that puke-orange/yellow Power T are burnt in my head for life). So, in response, as retarded middle-schoolers tend, we'd yell out the window every day "Tennessee Suuuuuucks! Yeah!" Pointless story, sure, but I shed a tear for my UT-hating nostalgia.

So, even though stupid Erik Ainge has owned us three out of the past four years (which is an atrocity unto itself), I don't want Phil fired. I'd much rather see him wade in his own lard for the next 15 years without another ring.

Friday Headlines

So much news, and so little motivation:
- Discrimination Costs Money.
- Slate Lies to All of Us: "Not everyone swigs moonshine just for fast, cheap intoxication".
- The Daily Show Goes Online, Stewart to Host through 2010.
- Mom of the Year Candidate Britney Spears Can't Stop Hitting Shit With Her Car; also, No-one Wants Her New Album
- The Latest in a Series of Crappy Songs Relating to Baseball; The Cubbies Got One Too.

Does money buy happiness?

Newsweek has put together a thinkpiece on this very question, and appropriately, it's relatively inconclusive. I think happiness isn't something definable in general economic terms, but hey, it's fun to try.

Here's my favorite counterargument to the notion that more money means more happiness:

"According to standard economics, the most important commodity you can buy with additional wealth is choice. If you have $20 in your pocket, you can decide between steak and peanut butter for dinner, but if you have only $1 you'd better hope you already have a jar of jelly at home. Additional wealth also lets you satisfy additional needs and wants, and the more of those you satisfy the happier you are supposed to be.

The trouble is, choice is not all it's cracked up to be. Studies show that people like selecting from among maybe half a dozen kinds of pasta at the grocery store but find 27 choices overwhelming, leaving them chronically on edge that they could have chosen a better one than they did."

Being overwhelmed by choice can be disconcerting, and on top of that, when you have an unlimited amount of money to spend, there are unlimited number of things you need to buy. That, and you find a lot of misers out there, intent on making money only to have it, and hoarding it drives them insane (or just working that much). Either way, the article is an interesting topic to ponder.

UK Schools Drop Most Irritating Instrument Ever From Curriculum, Adopt Tiny Guitars Instead

British Schools are dropping the recorder in favor of the ukulele in their music education programs. The Guardian reports that the instrument is perfect for school-aged children: cheap, easy to learn, and less irritating than other instruments. From the article:

"The four-stringed instrument beloved by vaudeville acts and Hawaiians is also enjoying a renaissance outside the classroom, even becoming a must-have accessory for some teenagers."

Idolator has a nice take on the ascendancy of the ukulele:

"So what you're telling me is that you've given children the means by which to create...ukulele bands that play unskilled, unstructured, single-instrument songs entirely unconstrained by boundaries of any sort?"

There will be no more smoking!!

My beloved city of Chicago has made the first move: banning smoking in certain public places. As the link shows, this is barebones information, but does anything else need to be said?

I at least understand the argument about enclosed spaces; very few people enjoy being trapped in a smoky room, and the health risks are "real," unlike in public. I'm not usually the "get over it" kind of guy, but seriously, if you're having a picnic at Grant Park and someone lights up within 10 feet of you (though I'm still not sure if the secondhand smoke would do anything to you in the open air), I'm pretty sure there's enough room for you to move 20 more feet away, or — novel concept — politely ask them if they can not smoke around you, instead of the government having to mandate it.

This is pretty outrageous. But, I guess this is a step toward totally outlawing it, and we'll see how that one works out for everybody.

A Nice and Easy Start to Friday Morning

What better way to start off the morning than with celebrities getting drunk and saying realy, really stupid shit?

God said he'd never flood the world again, but He didn't mention anything else

Personally, I don’t go so far to say that God punishes us for sinful action; it’s my opinion that He has much greater concerns. This is not the case for many, including this blog article that calls those of the faith to hug a tree to save humanity from His wrath.


By invoking the story of Noah in Genesis, religious environmentalists have support for the idea that if we continue to act this way, God will punish us again.

It seems that a Great Flood (or Deluge) was historically likely, or at least there are versions of it in almost every ancient mythology. I wonder if it’s not necessarily God punishing us, but more the earth being unable to handle what we’re doing to it.

I’m of the opinion that we’re incapable of destroying the earth. Unless we completely obliterate it (which, if I’m not mistaken, we don't have the ability to make matter disappear, but only to disperse it), it will exist after we die. So, to talk about killing the earth is a bit misguided; when we talk about the “end of the world,” we’re talking about the end of human existence. In that mode, global warming, in the example here, isn’t killing the earth, it’s killing us. The earth will adapt to it, most likely by refusing to support how we live.

That said, it makes me think we might just die from a drought rather than from a flood. Either way, if we’re destroying our environment we're fucking ourselves, and that’s the moral of the flood myth. Whatever you might call a sin, I think the point is clear.

Pop Stars Go Classy

Apparently, Brian Wilson's ballet sucks.

For the English National Ballet's annual fundraising gala, Brian Wilson will be playing live, and two of the ENB's principal dancers will be performing a "special" choreographed dance along with...for a mere 375 pounds ($773 at a 2.06 exchange rate). The Guardian has already pre-panned the performance.

In local news, Big Boi's ballet, "Big," has already gotten rave reviews from Atlanta Magazine. "Big" opens in Atlanta in April '08, but the Atlanta Ballet's put on a short preview at the season's launch party last month. "Big" is a full-length opera, choreographed to existing and new original Big Boi/Outkast music; the Atlanta Ballet's site has more information about "Big" and a link for tickets, if you can make one of the 6 performances between April 10-13, 2008.

P.S. "Big" tickets are going for $25+.

Here Come the Robot Overlords!

First, they brought you the Roomba, the tiny, helpful robotic vacuum...



Now, they bring you the Killbot--I mean, iRobot Warrior 7800: the automaton that's stronger, faster, and quicker on the draw than you. Seriously.



I'll be in the bomb shelter, if anyone needs me.

HEBBARD EDIT: This robot cannon going crazy seems like a timely story.

Please Keep the "Ebony and Ivory" Jokes to a Minimum

Hello readers.

This afternoon, I was all set to post an article on Al Sharpton. Sharpton was elected "Best Straight-Headed Ho" in this year's Village Voice "Best of NY" issue. While I take issue with much of the accompanying article, I was going to write a quick rant on the changing nature of leadership in the Black community, the cultural signifance of hip-hop, and why censorship generally does not work.

I was going to post an an unrelated item about Ann Coulter from ABC News. Titled "Ann Coulter: Marketing Genius? Critics Wonder Whether Her Controversial Comments Are Calculated to Sell More Books," I was going to keep the comment short. Namely, I was going to post something along the lines of "well, duh."

But then I found the photo below...




...and I thought to myself: Why post anything? Why not just put a big photo of two people Hebbard can't stand on the Quail?

Truly, Sublimely Awful Accessory

Worst. Product. Ever.

Evil Facial Hair?

Rich Cohen, a Vanity Fair writer, explores the history of the toothbrush mustache, more popularly known as the "Hitler mustache."

He also grows one of his own and discusses reactions to his new look. Can facial hair really be nefarious? He ditched it after only a week.

MySpace 2.0

Since Facebook kicked us to the curb, we've been messing around on MySpace to see what we can do over there.

Rumors were confirmed last night that some major changes are coming to MySpace. These changes will center around the MySpace widgets; small bits of code written by third parties (think Facebook applications). The platform release is scheduled for next week, but the widgets will only be available in to 1-2 million beta testers for some time. There are also changes coming to the friending process; no word yet on how MySpace 2.0 will deal with misleading camera angles.

The FBI Knows What You Did Last Summer

Here's how to look at what they know about you.

Gen-Y v. Baby Boomers: Who's the "Me" Generation Again?

Newsweek has a web exclusive on how members of Generation Y differ from their parents, taking more time to settle into a financially stable career, move out of the house, get hitched, and have kids.

Apparently, this makes us the Freeloading Generation.

According to sociologist Jean Twenge, certified fuddy-duddy and author of "Generation Me", Generation Me has been reared hearing "'bad advice,' like 'believe in yourself and you can do anything,' leaving many with deeply unrealistic expectations about their lives." (This, of course, prompts the question of who gave Gen-Yers this "'bad advice,'" but I'm not pointing fingers...)

Additionally, Gen-Yers have been surveyed globally regarding their "relaxed priorities.":
"'In a study released this summer, global employment agency Manpower found that across the developed world, under-30s would overwhelmingly rather 'pursue their passions' than 'make lots of money,' with 73 percent of young Spaniards and two-thirds of Americans and Canadians backing that statement. Likewise, a recent Europe-wide survey from Stockholm-based Universum found that work-life balance is now the single most popular career goal among university graduates, ahead of high pay. Says Tammy Johns, Manpower's head of workforce strategy, 'Gen-Yers around the world are absolutely willing to quit any job that doesn't offer everything they want.'"

Is this that terrible? Make the jump and leave us your opinion.

Florida Hates Girls Not Wearing Shirts

Two Florida teenage girls were ejected from their high school football game for painting themselves the school's colors, though none of the similarly painted shirtless boys were thrown out.

Silly news, I know, but shouldn't all of the kids have been kicked out? Not for the purposes of gender equality but because painting yourself for a team makes you look as dumb as a bag of hammers?

How Nora Ephron, John Hughes, and That Guy Who Directed "The Notebook" Ruined Us All

Public Service Annoucement: The romantic comedy genre sets us all up for disaster, by setting wholly unrealistic expectations for love, sex, and relationships. (It also tends to become a bit boring.)

Pajiba tries to lower these expectations, by telling us what really happened when Wesley and Buttercup, Harry and Sally, Benny and Joon, and the rich guy and the hooker from "Pretty Woman" went off into the sunset.

Philosophy and the Death Penalty

John F. Sugg, columnist for Creative Loafing Atlanta, recently posted an editorial on the death penalty, making shout-outs to the work of Albert Camus and local Christian fundamentalists who readily support stoning as a method of execution.

More from the world of hilariously bad journalism

In my efforts to become the world's ombudsman for journalistic decency (does this just make me a cynical prick?), here's Deadspin's coverage of several journalistic blunders just from yesterday.

The lead story, which was reported by ESPN among others, mentioned that Kobe Bryant had cleaned out his locker, adding to the drama surrounding his impending trade. However, in fact, Kobe had just tidied up his locker, a stark difference. I love it.

R.I.P., original Nintendo

Apparently Nintendo finally has discontinued support for the original Nintendo system.

Though I'm not sure I like the tone of the article I've posted — it seems a tad antagonistic to those of us who like video games simple and that don't consume days/years on end — I wanted to take some time out and revere the greatest game console that will ever exist. Luckily, I got the newfangled 1990s version of the Nintendo that actually works every time, so I will be able to play on.

However, Nintendo's move is understandable and necessary, seeing as anyone can download all the games or get them on their Wii.

Milberg Weiss and the Dems, Yet Again

A few weeks back, we posted a story about William Lerach's sentencing and plea agreement after being indicted on charges of conspiracy to obstruct justice and making false statements under oath. The story also briefly mentioned the link between Lerach and John Edwards, and more generally, the link between Lerach's old firm, Milberg Weiss, and the Democratic Party. Milberg Weiss has made substantial donations to the Democratic Party, even after very public federal investigations of the firm's aggressive and allegedly fraudulent strike suits, bribery, and kickbacks. As it stands, Milberg Weiss is accused of knuckling nearly $250M in strike suits, many of which were filed on the word of [bribed] plaintiffs.

Turns out that Milberg Weiss is still making large donations to the Dems for campaigns and the party's interests, and these donations are still being readily accepted, despite the scandal surrounding the firm.

A "necessary evil" in a nation where exorbitant amounts of cash are needed to run campaigns and a political party?
An ironic scandal--in a political environment where Democrats blast Republicans for seeking to limit class action suits and shield allegedly corrupt corporations, it turns out that Democrats were getting money from a top law firm extorting corporations and Jane Q. Shareholder and defending said law firm despite federal investigations?
Or is it just par for the political course?

Expansion of the World's Religions

I found the nifty little graphic below that colorfully depicts the spread of the world's major religions throughout history. Enjoy!

Note: Here's the link to the site with more fun maps of the like.

More Presidential Candidates Looking...Charming?

Barack Obama was on the Tonight Show last night.



And in case you missed his more serious interview with David Letterman a while back...

The Ralph Reed (almost) Interview Chat

Guess who's who:

1:55 PM
Aristotle: ralph reed is at Transmet right now
Socrates: are there any sharp objects handy?
Aristotle: yes
1:56 PM
Socrates: Does he have body guards?
Aristotle: nope, he is with some undergrad looking chick
Socrates: well, I think your duty is clear
1:57 PM
Aristotle: Im really thinking about going up and asking him some questions
1:58 PM
Socrates: do it
Aristotle: any idea what he could be in town for?
Aristotle: he just sat down to eat, maybe I should wait till he finishes
Socrates: yeah, that's probably the best idea
1:59 PM
Socrates: even jackasses like him deserve to eat a meal in peace
Aristotle: I can ask him what he is in town for and what he is doing now
Socrates: true; anything you can get out of him would be great
2:01 PM
Aristotle: I'll do my best, I might not be able to wait long enough, Ill see if I can get Plato down here
Socrates: i can't think of anything he could be here for; maybe a College Republican's meeting?
2:02 PM
Socrates: or one of the on-campus ministries?
Aristotle: that could be his daughter
2:03 PM
Aristotle: he is 46
Aristotle: he was married in 87, so the oldest could be 19 or 20
Socrates: also true
2:04 PM
Aristotle: he looks like he is 12 though, has on a cheese dick coat and tie
Socrates: hahaha
2:05 PM
Socrates: well, he has two daughters
Socrates: Brittany and nicole
Socrates: check FB
2:06 PM
Aristotle: did we just become papparazzi?
Socrates: there are three brittany reed's that either are attending or have attended UGA
Aristotle: what are you doing right now? can you come up and wait him out?
2:07 PM
Socrates: I found her Facebook Profile
Socrates: he's from up there in gwinnett county, isn't he?
2:08 PM
Aristotle: I think she is the one from peachtree ridge
Aristotle: uga '11
2:09 PM
Socrates: yeah, that's the one I sent the link to
Aristotle: the girl he is sitting with is a short blonde
2:10 PM
Socrates: yeah, i just found a picture of her with daddy
Aristotle: yeah, that's her
2:11 PM
Socrates: why her fucking profile is so wide open, I have no idea
Socrates: that seems a bit ridiculous
Socrates: she is a frosh, though
2:12 PM
Aristotle: he is pretty minor right now, I bet it was shut tight last year
Socrates: yeah, that may be true
2:13 PM
Aristotle: hmmm go to con law, or ambush ralph reed on the street?
Socrates: ambush!
Aristotle: decisions decisions
Socrates: also, she is dating a brown man
Socrates: I wonder how that would've gone over with the Christian Coalition if things had gone according to plan and he ran for prez this year
Aristotle: maybe thats what the afternoon lunch date is about
2:14 PM
Socrates: NM, he's not brown
Socrates: his last name is Panachida, so i just assumed he was
Socrates: as it turns out, he is a healthy shade of honky
Aristotle: racist
Socrates: thank god
2:15 PM
Socrates: I would hate to think that the daughter, the very flesh and blood of such an imminent statesman would stoop so low <--- SARCASM
Socrates: she's pretty cute
Socrates: you should end the ambush interview by asking her out for drinks later
2:16 PM
Aristotle: haha, I would need a few more of these Bud Heavies
Socrates: that would be incredible
2:17 PM
Socrates: maybe you could pitch that we want to do a story about her, because of our immense respect for her dad
Socrates: Growing up Godly?
Socrates: How to screw the native americans and influence people?
Aristotle: nice!
2:18 PM
Aristotle: are you logging this chat?
Socrates: yes
Aristotle: I need to start, we could just post this
Socrates: hahaha
2:19 PM
Aristotle: seeing how we dont report on anything anyways
Socrates: I wonder how that joke about brown men would come across...
Aristotle: you can add a disclaimer
Aristotle: I have to go to class
Socrates: <--- SARCASM!
Aristotle: there it is
Socrates: alright; we can work on this when you get back to the house
2:20 PM
Aristotle: yup, see ya
Socrates: peace

Why CBS? Why? So We Could Watch More "Everybody Loves Raymond" or "CSI: Skokie?"

Bad news, kids: "Babylon Fields" has been canceled before it even got off the ground.

For those of you with social lives and non-imaginary friends, "Babylon Fields" was sitcom\dramedy picked up by CBS back in January and originally slated to debut this fall. Set in the suburbs, nearly every character on the show was a zombie, returning from the dead to assume their pre-apocalypse lives with some of their still-living family members. It was also a bit of a procedural crime drama, with "undead crimefighting" thrown in for fun. Seriously.

I, for one, was ready and waiting with my remote control in hand. I mean, "Tell Me You Love Me" + "ZSI?" C'mon, people! This is magic!

Alas, Popwatch is now reporting that CBS has opted to can "Babylon Fields", but not before TV Week leaked a few precious scenes.

Got a minute? Check them out:
1) An impeccably dressed zombie returns home to greet his wife, who is simultaneously grateful for his return and slightly appalled that her prayers were answered literally.
2) Two male zombies discuss the sexual benefits of rigor mortis, prompting the question of whether it's necrophilia if both partners are dead. Need I mention that this is not safe for work?
3) A zombie reports his own murder to the police, in typical procedural cop-show fashion. This clip is made better if you're a true TV nerd and recognize the zombie as Jamey Sheridan, who played Captain James Deakins on "Law and Order: Criminal Intent" for five years.

Is that Dick Obama or Barack Cheney? Cheney-Obama? Obama-Cheney?

Do you see any family resemblance?


According to Lynne Cheney, the VP's #1 stone cold fox, Barack Obama and Dick Cheney have have a common ancestor, a French immigrant named Mareen Duvall. While the CNN article mentions that "first Richard Cheney's" granddaughter married Mareen Duvall's son, Sam Duvall, eight generations ago, it fails to mention how Obama is related to Duvall and thereby Cheney.

Apparently, miscegenation is as unmentionable in contemporary media as it was in the eighteenth century.

This news comes a month after the discovery that Obama is President Bush's 11th cousin, and that Bush and Cheney are also related by another branch, independent of the Obama connection.

In addition to making Nicholas Kristof's May 2007 editorial stating that Obama should win because if Clinton won, the same two immediate families would control the White House for seven consecutive terms incredibly ironic, the new developments about Obama and Cheney's lineage has prompted new conspiracy theories. Is Lynne Cheney spreading gossip about Obama's link to the Republicans to prompt voters to suspect that "it's only a matter of time before the Vader rears his ugly personality within Obama's heart?" Or is it actually a ploy to keep Cheney from running for office because he's a Republican related to a black man? Get your daily paranoia--or is it?--from Quizlaw.

Your Ass May Be As Bad As Rising Temperatures

According to Alan Johnson, UK Health Secretary, obesity is a "potential crisis on the scale of climate change."

We Got News

- Bush's approval ratings have hit a new low - 24 percent (Huffington Post)
- Former pariah states, Libya and Vietnam, elected to UN Security Council (NY Times)
- Scientists have discovered a new species of dinosaur (Wired)
- Hartley out as Thrashers head coach (Fox Sports)
- Russian President Putin is in Tehran today, talks center on conflict with the West (Christian Science Monitor)

Well, if the Divorce Rate is 66% in Vienna..

The headline says it all:

"Austria is to host the world's first 'divorce fair' this month, aimed at helping couples untie the knot as painlessly as possible."

Wednesday Afternoon Slosh Report

Kai, a lychee-flavored Vietnamese vodka, is a huge hit in Hawaii, getting rave reviews in Honolulu's "Midweek" Magazine's 'In Good Spirits' Column.

While I'm not sold on the idea of lychee-flavored vodka, despite the security of knowing that buying Kai supports the entire village in which it was originally crafted, I have decided that I want to work for a Hawaiian magazine, reviewing booze.

What Juvenile Law?

December '06: UN considers adopting a resolution abolishing the punishment of life imprisonment with the possibility of parole for kids and teens, regardless of the crime committed.

VOTE: 185-1

Guess who cast that one vote?

At present, 73 Americans are serving life terms for crimes they committed under the age of 15.

Bonus points if you can guess the states in which have the largest numbers of these special prisoners and their respective ethnicities.

Read more after the jump.

More Cardinals, But Not the Kind from Missouri

Pope Benedict XVI announced the appointment of 23 new cardinals** today, 2 of which are American. The appointment of a cardinal from Galveston, TX prompted speculation that the Pope is trying to reach out to the Latino Catholic community, aka the most substantial portion of the global Catholic community.

Perhaps the more interesting part of this development is that only 18 of the 23 new cardinals are under the age of 80, the second threshold requirement for being able to vote for a new Pope. (A cardinal must be under 80 on the day of the new election.)

Allegedly reaching out to Latinos? Appointing 18 non-octagenarian cardinals? Looks like the Vatican is trying to keep up with its people and maybe even stepping into the 19th century. What next? Tolerating European Jews?

** FYI: Cardinals aren't that different from regular clergymen, but are individually appointed as cardinals by the Pope. As members of the College of Cardinals, they advise the Pope when called to do so and get to vote to elect a new pope when the old pope has passed on.

For all our pyromaniac friends

According to this YouTube video, water will burn if batteries are soaked in it for 30 to 40 minutes.

Resulting from what I perceive to be a lack of instructional videos on The Pasty Quail, I present to you the following tutorial. . .



Gotta love the background music, too. Only adds to the experience.

So Long Cynthia!

Cynthia McKinney, the seemingly bat-shit crazy former Congresswoman from Dekalb County, has officially moved to California. The AJC has an article explaining that McKinney has registered to vote in California, where she is seeking a doctoral degree from Cal-Berkley.

The article also mentions that McKinney is listed as a candidate for president for the Green Party, and I heartily endorse her attempt. Cynthia has been the source of some of the more amusing incidents in recent politics. Remember when she beat up the police officer on Capital Hill? How about the time that she incited so much hatred in Atlanta-area Republicans that many changed their voting registrations to Democrat and voted for her opponent, Denise Maggette, in the 2002 primary? Ah, good times.

Brick-and-Mortar Video Stores Going the Way of the Record Store...

...into bankruptcy. Cnet.com is reporting that Movie Gallery filed on Tuesday; the chain also operates under the names Hollywood Video and Game Crazy.

The stores have been beaten to a pulp by online/mail order dvd services such as Netflix, as well as widely available on demand video choices from cable companies; in just 2 years, Movie Gallery's stock price has fallen from $33 to 22 cents. How long can it possibly be before the dvd itself is unseated?

Gore Says He Has 'No Plans' To Run For President

Al Gore says that he has no plans to run for president following his Nobel Peace Prize win last week. Yahoo! News is reporting that Gore has stated that the award will not change his status in the race. From the article:

"I don't have plans to be a candidate again so I don't really see it in that context at all," Gore said when asked in an interview with Norway's NRK public television aired on Wednesday about how the award would affect his political future."

Notice that he says that he doesn't plan to run; this certainly leaves the possibility that he will reconsider at any time over the next 2 months. Honestly, I won't be convinced that he isn't running until November of next year.

Birth control distributed to middle schoolers. . .

. . . without parental consent. Though the kids have consent to seek healthcare in the school clinic, they wouldn't have to have it to get a prescription.

I think the story speaks for itself pretty well, so I'll go ahead and ask the question. It makes sense that they would want to do this alongside giving condoms out as health promotion, but I think giving sexual autonomy to 11- to 13-year-olds is a slippery slope. I am all for teaching them about safe sex and supporting it; I think this a no-brainer. But at 12-ish years old, should the parents not have some knowledge that their son or daughter is planning to have sex? Maybe it'd be good for them to open up a dialogue and teach their own children about this?

At the same time, people may try to argue the other side, that these kids have the right to confidentiality. But how much should they really have while they are under their parents' roof? When a parent is legally and financially (not to mention emotionally) responsible for another life, they are the ones with a right to know everything about it.

But that's not the point. I think the issue here is that kids should be able to talk about these things with their parents. Sure, many parents don't want their kids having sex at age 12, and I think that's fair. But at the same time, the kids shouldn't be afraid to be sexually responsible, which is the school's side of things — also an appropriate angle. It's a tough situation all the way around.

Real Estate on the downward spiral in So. Cal./Poor News Reporting

I've got a dual head-scratcher for you:

First, apparently the housing market in LA — and especially its surrounding suburbs — is pretty seriously on the decline. Working for a commercial real estate publication for the past 3 years, I've come to find interest in these kinds of business trends, and I thought that a massive decline in residential real estate in one of the most expensive markets in the U.S. might be an interesting scoop.

But, I must disclose, this is not the real story here. I’ve been using Drudge Report for the past couple days or so, and overall, I’ve been mighty satisfied with the breadth of information he disseminates. However, last night I found this link, which ostensibly covers the LA housing decline. I was interested in the headline, but there was shit for information in this Reuters story (and in the Yahoo! News story that mimicked said “report”). Does this count as reporting news?

I understand that Reuters and Yahoo! have a lot on their plates, but you must hear about it from somewhere. There are no supporting statistics to contextualize the headline in either blurb, and in fact, it turns out (as I had suspected) that the information given is misleading when compared to the LA Times report (which I spent time digging around to find). I can’t necessarily trust everything that says either, but I’d imagine that it might have a better beat on the local market than an international news conglomerate.

I'm not huffy because I had to do some extra work; in fact, I feel a little bit accomplished. I'm not irritated at Reuters or Yahoo! either, though it does confuse me how they come to publish a story with such a dearth of information. Why put it up at all? And finally, while I'm not upset with Drudge, I'm a bit wary of his decision to post an article with such an obvious lack of substance.

MORE religion and the election

With the 2008 Election just over 12 months away, the issues are heating up. Though people seem to be saying that religion is not a huge deal for the upcoming circus that is the presidential race, I can't seem to go a day without seeing at least one thing about it. That's probably an effect of where I go to get my news, but at least I can pass this important knowledge on to you, the reader.

In that mode, Bob Jones III, chancellor of the Greenville, South Carolina, Christian-affiliated Bob Jones University, has officially leveled his endorsement for president.

His statements to open the column sum up everything that is a bit skewed with the American voter: "This is all about beating Hillary," and "What is the alternative, Hillary’s lack of religion or [Mormon candidate Mitt Romney's] erroneous religion?" I find it strange that he would endorse either, to be honest. I really am not sure why an erroneous religion would be better than a lack of it.

Jones continues, "As a Christian I am completely opposed to the doctrines of Mormonism," he said. "But I’m not voting for a preacher. I’m voting for a president. It boils down to who can best represent conservative American beliefs, not religious beliefs."

Surely this clarifies his position on Romney, but if this is the case, then why is it "all about beating Hillary?"

The polarizing rhetoric of partisan politics continues to confuse me.

Prophet predicts University of Kentucky basketball success

Really, I just liked the title of this Deadspin post on the subject, as I'm always a sucker for a Back to the Future II reference.

Underneath that exterior of hilarity, here's the real, in-depth story on the mother of a UK recruit that is a real, live prophet for the Lord. There's not much to be said that hasn't been in these two links, and really, I think a Michigan woman speaking through God regarding colege basketball results is a story that tells itself.

I bet Tubby Smith is PISSED. Where was God all those years he was starting his crappy son instead of NBA-level talent, and where was God when he was botching recruiting for one of the best and most well-known programs in the nation?

The Dutch Ban Magic Mushrooms

The Dutch government is eschewing its liberal drug policy and banning the sale of psychedelic mushrooms in the country. The decision was made following a series of incidents involving tourists who took the drug. From the BBC:

"[A] 17-year-old French girl jumped from a building after eating magic mushrooms during a school trip to Amsterdam in March. Other incidents involving the drug have included an Icelandic tourist jumping from a balcony and breaking both legs and a Danish tourist driving his car wildly through a camping ground, narrowly missing sleeping campers."

It seems to me that these sorts incidents would be a good reason to keep mushrooms regulated and out of the black market. I suppose the Dutch government is not as pragmatic as I had hoped.

Turkey Close to Invading Northern Iraq

The Turkish military is close to sending troops into Northern Iraq to flush out Kurdish rebels who have established bases there. There has already been some fighting along the border, and the Turkish government has signaled that it will seek parliamentary approval for wider action in the area.

Broad Turkish action in Northern Iraq would open a new front in an already unimaginably complicated Middle Eastern war, and would expand on a long standing fight between the military and the PKK, a group of Kurdish rebels. The PKK (Kurdish Worker's Party) has been fighting since 1978 for an independent Kurdish state comprising south-eastern Turkey, north-eastern Iraq, north-eastern Syria and north-western Iran.

Prior to the US invasion of Iraq in 2003, the Kurds in Iraq were brutally oppressed by the Ba'ath regime; the people there were even the victims of a grisly chemical weapons experiment in the 1980s. Since the invasion, the Kurd-controlled portion of Northern Iraq has been pointed to as an unparalleled success for the US military. The region is relatively free of violence and the economy is strong. Unfortunately, much of the wealth that is being generated there is being funneled towards the PKK and the establishment of a Kurdish state.

Meanwhile, the Turkish government has been allowing the US to use Turkish airspace to fly troops, equipment, and supplies into the area. Turkish action in the area will likely threaten the security of these supply routes.

Ok, let me recap this for you: the US military manages to carve out one peaceful portion of an otherwise hellishly chaotic region, that peaceful area then creates a haven for a terrorist organization bent on destroying a traditional ally, traditional ally threatens military action against terrorist organization, threatened military action would jeopardize the US mission that created peaceful portion of an otherwise hellishly chaotic region in the first place.

God Damn it! Even when we get something right, we get it wrong.

Update: On top of everything, the brain-trust over in the US Congress is planning on passing a resolution that recognizes that the Ottoman Turks (the theocratic predecessors to the modern secular Turkish government) committed a genocide against the people of Armenia 90 years ago. The current Turkish government is not happy about this, and has threatened repercussions if the resolution passes.

Don't get me wrong, genocide is a horrible thing, but why do we need this resolution now? The people that committed the atrocity are long dead, the government that ordered it is no longer in power, and our relations with Turkey are as tense as they have been since the fall of the Soviet Union.

I really want to break out my tin foil hat and start screaming about a Pelosi-created conspiracy to get us out of Iraq by systematically pissing off all of our allies in the region, but I really don't think Congress is competent enough to pull something like that off.

What Would Dwight Do?

In West Scranton, Pennsylvania, near the home of our dear friends on NBC's "The Office," a woman may face jail time for swearing inside her house.

So the story goes, there was an overflowing toilet in her house, and she was using profanity in this obviously panicked moment, while her next door neighbor, an off-duty (!) police officer, called her in. Apparently swearing is a criminal offense in Pennsylvania. Oh, the humanity.

Election news extravaganza

Yesterday, I posted a story on the insane amounts of money being spent on television advertising for the 2008 elections. Today, I found the numbers for money spent just in the 3rd quarter by several presidential candidates.

I know I sound like ESPN, talking much more about the facts and figures of what people are making and spending than discussing actual issues occurring in the event — in this case the presidential race — but I find it really interesting to conceptualize how much money a candidate actually spends on getting his or her face out there. The up-front costs are pretty insane.

That segues nicely into my second story that deals with political advertising, in which Barack Obama is selling to the religious contingency. I like Obama: he's from Chicago and he seems the closest thing to a decent human being I've seen in politics in this lifetime. Though the article's coverage of this particular event is a little arbitrary, seeing as Obama wasn't there himself, the rest of it paints an intriguing picture of the man as a candidate that is not selling out to a particular religion, but someone that understands its importance to people.

While he's still playing the game, I'm starting to realize (based on the financial numbers quoted above) that all the candidates have to pander to as many people as possible. This might seem like it shouldn't be a new revelation, but I don't think so many people realize this. A lot of voters truly believe that politicians are speaking directly to them as opposed to making blanket statements aimed (ideally) at offending as few people as possible.

Has Your Favorite Band Sold-Out?

With the recent glut of quality musical acts becoming corporate shills, I have often found myself wondering at what point they jeopardize their artistic integrity for a quick buck. It is sometimes difficult to distinguish between self-promotion and simple greed. For some artists, inclusion in a major corporate advertising campaign exposes a much wider audience to their previously unknown music (see Feist and her Ipod Nano ads); while others are clearly cashing in on the already established value of an older song (see any advertisement with a classic rock song).

Most of the time, I don't have a problem with this phenomenon. In the age of file-sharing, the music industry will need new sources of revenue, and advertising presents a significant opportunity. Local musician, Kevin Barnes from Of Montreal, famously sold the rights to one of his songs to Outback Steakhouse; they then rewrote the song into one of the more annoying jingles that I can remember. In an interview with Pitchfork, Barnes responded to critics of his move:

"Most people realize that indie bands don't make any money, so when something like that happens, it's not like all of a sudden the band is a sellout...that's the thing that seemed kind of funny...it doesn't matter what the band did all the way up to that point-- you sell one song to a commercial and all of a sudden you're a sellout."

Although I think Barnes is right, there must be some point where a good artist becomes a 'sell out'. Thanks to Bill Wyman from the Washington Post, we can now figure out exactly when this occurs. He has developed the Moby Quotient, named after the artist who once sold every song on his album 'Play' to marketing people of all stripes. In this exercise, a high Moby Quotient equals selling-out. From the article:

"If you are an artist who traffics in -- or has trafficked in -- your outsider status; if you were a punk or a rebel or a beast whose rude yawp emerged from the underground and you are now hawking your anthems of defiance as ear candy to further the sales of a crummy telecom company, a new line of SUVs or the marvelous things General Electric is doing, well then, sir or madam artiste, expect your Moby Quotient to be somewhat higher."

So based on this definition, what musical act is the biggest sell-out of all time? Leave your thoughts in the comments section.

(sigh) What did that monkey ever do to you?

I’m not going to off on an anti-Creationist rant. I think people should be able to believe what they want. In that mode, I think protesting a school of thought by symbolically killing a monkey seems a little off-kilter.

I’m not really sure what this proves. The head of the protest explains that this “is exactly how satanic cults were punished in the old days.” By taking a loosely-connected toy symbol and stabbing it? Now, I’m not advocating anyone being burnt at the stake, but I believe that’s how things used to go down. . .

Have to love those cheeky Brits

Further cementing his place as the greatest rock 'n' roll musician of all time — if by greatest I mean the very closest one can come to exactly average — here are some excellent quotations from Oasis' Noel Gallagher via Idolator.

Ever a giant prick, Gallagher takes shots at all comers, particularly Blur, who, sorry buddy, is a much better band than yours. But you have to respect the guy's bravado, comparing himself to The Beatles after producing only one above-average album throughout a 15+ year career. Rock on.

China to U.S.: You can only honor who we say you can

In the news today is China's threat toward the U.S. regarding us honoring the Dalai Lama, which it claims will severely dampen our relationship.

Actually, I can see the political argument from the angle of The People's Republic, as by doing this, the U.S. is supporting a separatist that poses a threat to its state.

"'Such a person who basely splits his motherland and doesn't even love his motherland has been welcomed by some countries and has even been receiving this or that award,' the Tibetan Communist Party boss, Zhang Qingli, said during the congress."

However, the subsequent comment from Zhang is where I differ on the subject. He explains, "We are furious. If the Dalai Lama can receive such an award, there must be no justice or good people in the world."

My difference probably comes from the way that I view religious leaders and peaceful protest. Again, I can see China's side of the argument, but this statement seems a little dramatic.

In the end, though, the article mentions that China's threat is probably empty, but still it raises further questions on its status as "the people's republic."

We Got News

- A key US-India nuclear agreement is nearing collapse (Washington Post)
- London will be in the running for future Super Bowl sites (ESPN)
- Internet dinosaur, AOL, will cut 2,000 jobs this year (CNNMoney)
- Fed Chief says economic outlook is uncertain (USA Today)
- Hardee's unveils a 920 calorie breakfast burrito (CNNMoney)

First Baby Boomer Files For Social Security

The nation's first baby boomer has filed for social security, which could signal the beginning of the end for the program as we know it.

After years of hand wringing by politicians and the media, I am sure that you are all aware of the issues facing social security (hint: too many people taking money out, not enough putting money in). What, if anything, would you do to save it?

A Bizarre Piece of News from Indy

In one of the strangest news stories I've ever seen, two men, posing as park rangers, forced several young boys to give urine samples (ostensibly for drug testing).

The whole story is here.

Day 7: Au Revoir to the French Riviera

Unfortunately, our week in Nice had to draw to a close, and so must my posts and pictures. This may be a pleasure to some, but I hope most of you enjoyed this brief feature while it lasted. If and when I go anywhere else I plan to uphold the same standards I have set forth here.

Check out the trip from the beginning:
The First Weekend (Days 1 & 2) - Nice
Day 3 - Nice
Day 4 - Villefranche
Day 5 - Monaco
Day 6 - Into the Countryside

And here's more from our final day on the French Riviera, after the jump.

Fall Concert List

We are almost through the fall concert season, but there are a few great shows left to go this month and in December. Here is a handy list of the upcoming shows. As always a few featured shows will appear on the side bar. Let me know if I am missing anything important:

Athens:
11/17 - Krush Girls - 40 Watt
11/30 - Modern Skirts - 40 Watt
12/3 - Dinosaur Jr. - 40 Watt
12/6 - Deerhunter - 40 Watt


Atlanta:
11/15 - Regina Spektor - Tabernacle
11/18 - Hold Steady/Art Brut - Variety Playhouse
11/20 - Of Montreal - Variety Playhouse

Facebook Says: "Get the F#$@ Out"

Dear Friends,

Many of you may have noticed that "Pasty", surname "Quail", is no longer appearing on your list of Facebook friends. Please rest assured that this is not because of something you did last weekend. Rather, the people at Facebook apparently look at the Terms of Service in a different way than we did.

For instance, they read the TOS and expect people to abide by them, whereas we didn't look at them and could not care any less what they say. As a direct result of this, "Pasty" has lost his Facebook profile.

But worry not, my friends. We will revive the old "Pasty Quail" group on FB, and we will be branching out to other social networking sites soon. We are also working on developing a Pasty Quail application for Facebook that will deliver our best content directly to your newsfeed.

Update: Apparently, Facebook is on an account disabling rampage at the moment. Check out this list of things you should avoid doing in order to preserve your account.

Modern science at it again

A recent Stanford University study has discovered a possible method for diagnosing Alzheimer's before symptoms arise.

Though at present there is a dearth of effective drugs for the disease, clearly "the real usefulness of an early diagnostic test would come when drugs are developed that slow or halt the progression of Alzheimer's disease. Several therapies that might be able to do that are now being tested. The drugs would be most valuable if they could be used before cognitive ability has declined too much."

This is a great step from our old friends in the lab. The article makes a good point that some might not want to know they have a terminal illness before it happens. While this could be psychologically debilitating, depending on the situation it can be of great benefit to yourself and the people around you; learning about it will help everyone recognize when it starts to occur, and they'll know how to take care of you.

Call him Ishmael

I apologize to the squeamish for posting this picture, as it's hardly news even for a slow news day. Yet, I do find it impressive that someone caught this shark, more than doubling the previous record for this fishing contest.

If you care not to read the article, this mako shark caught 70 miles from Destin, Fla., weighed 844 pounds. So, next time you're out on the yacht in the Gulf, I'd check for open sores.

That's a lot of candy bars to sell

Further checking reality, CNN reports that an estimated $3 billion will be spent on television advertising for the 2008 elections (across the board). Granted, so many people running for offices adds up pretty quickly. At the same time, this number shows how ridiculously difficult it is to project oneself on the national level, leading into question what kind of "free" elections we truly have.

Stephen Colbert Tries His Hand at the NYT

Stephen Colbert, host of The Colbert Report has written an opinion column for Maureen Dowd, the editor of the New York Times Opinion Page. The column is great; he manages to rip many of the NYT Opinions editors as well as most of the presidential candidates. The image of John McCain passing a hat at the gas station while the Straight Talk Express sits by idly is pretty great.

Airline Flight is Safe

Here in the United States, there has been only one fatal crash of a commercial airliner in 5 years (approximately 5,475,000 flights at the rate of 30,000/day). Look here for details about the 10 plane crashes that have made the airline industry so safe.

Laws Are Made to be Broken

Professor Tim Wu, from Columbia Law School, has an article on Slate about US laws that are meant to be broken.

This seems to be part of a running piece, so keep an eye on this guy and what he has to say.

ESPN's Ombudsman right on, as per usual

I found myself referring to this column about 70 times last week after I read it, as ESPN's Ombudsman, Le Anne Schreiber, aptly discusses The Worldwide Leader's lack of journalistic integrity.

First of all, let me express my intrigue with the ombudsman position to begin with, which serves as a liaison between the public and any given entity, usually used in reference to a government or a media outlet. In her lengthy column, the main point Schreiber hits on is ESPN's recent tendency to create its own opinions and pass them off as news in lieu of actually reporting.

After I read the column, I began to notice this phenomenon more and more as I watched ESPN throughout the week. For example, last week on Monday Night Football, the Bills led by 8 with six minutes left, and the announcers had given the game away to them, saying it was "the biggest victory for the Bills since 1994." This was the fifth game of the regular season and out-of-conference match-up; in other words, it was completely meaningless to either team.

An interception by each team (both of which saved touchdowns), and then a miraculous comeback by the Cowboys in the last minute followed. The point is that the announcers and anchors are so eager to be first to make some overarching, important comment that they neglect to do their job, which is to report on sports. I admire their enthusiasm, because surely ESPN does cover athletics more extensively than any other media outlet, but as Schreiber notes:

"If you look at the proportion of airtime and cyberspace devoted to reporting fact versus delivering opinion on ESPN, ESPN.com and ESPN Radio, it is clear that the main function of sports news is to serve as the molehill on which mountains of opinion are built. We don't have news cycles anymore. We have opinion cycles."

This brings us to the all-important question that she asks as well: Why do we need 24/7 sports "reporting?" The airtime is there if a breaking news story comes along. But why, on a Wednesday in the middle of October when football bookends the weeks and baseball is only on every other day, do we need an hour-and-a-half Sportscenter? Show some college soccer, or hell, water polo (at least on "The Ocho"). You have the assets and the energy, so why not take advantage of the position as "worldwide leader in sports?"

So, this drought thing is getting pretty serious

As the local weather has improved greatly, it's been difficult to care as much about our lack of rain. This summer, as temperatures remained above 100 for more than three consecutive weeks, the lack of precipitation was much more noticeable.

However, as we are all aware, and as the AJC reported yesterday, Atlanta and the surrounding areas (I'm pretty sure Athens is in worse shape, actually) will have to take drastic measures — and possibly SERIOUSLY drastic measures — if we don't get some real rainfall soon.

It's very difficult to curb our consumption of anything, especially water, and I know I have done very little to conserve despite the fact that it's on my mind every time I turn on a faucet. Sometime soon, we might not have much of a choice.

We rest on God's day, so we talk about Him today

This headline is a slight misnomer, as it covers not God exactly but the people who act ostensibly in His name. Last Monday, I covered some churches' use of Halo 3 in order to attract and convert the youth.

In a similar vein, the famed Left Behind Series has a new product to sell (and unfortunately, no, it's not another riveting movie starring Kirk Cameron).

Last year, a video game based on the series was released to poor reviews and abysmal sales, yet it is in the news again, as the an evangelical group disguising itself as the Pentagon tried to send the game to troops in Iraq.

I'm not really sure how you impersonate the Pentagon, nor am I sure of the repercussions. A unique ploy nonetheless.

Bono for Jesus, again

U2's impending merge with The Almighty has made further progress, as I discovered the announcement for the U2charist.

For those of you unfamiliar with Catholicism and its direct subsidiaries, Episcopalianism and Lutheranism, the Eucharist is, in brief, both a celebration of Jesus' Last Supper as well as the physical representation of his body and blood taken during the Mass (this is true in Catholicism, at least; I'm not so sure about those heathen Protestants).

Anyhow, furthering the link/indiscriminate line between religion and popular culture, the U2charist is a traditional religious service served by the wonderfully uplifting music of U2. See the mission statement below:

"The U2charist is a great opportunity to reach out to the people in your congregation and larger community, especially young people. This service the music and message of U2 about global reconciliation, justice for the poor and oppressed, and the importance of caring for your neighbor. Led by the global [Millennium Development Goals] ambassador, Bono, U2 is calling people worldwide to a deeper faith and engagement with God's mission. The U2charist seeks to be an extension of this ministry."

Though this disclosure is not really needed, I'm not a terribly large fan of U2. Therefore, I understand that my bias against their music distorts my view of their rabidly evangelistic fan base. To me, this union of church and U2 makes perfect sense, as I've seen firsthand how some U2 fans worship Bono. I make fun of Tom Cruise all the time for being the Jesus of Scientology, but is Bono going to be perceived as the Second Coming? This is only half a joke.