Abramovich and Berezovsky Square Off; Ultra-Expensive Merchandise Traumatized

In a bizarre scene over the weekend, the two Russian-born multi-millionaires squared off on London's exclusive Sloane Street.

Berezovsky (net worth aproximately £500 million) has been carrying around a £5 billion writ from England's High Court for 6 months, but has been unable to serve it on Abramovich (net worth estimated at £10.8 billion). Abramovich, employs 40 security gaurds, mostly former SAS men, in his own "private army." The two men are former business partners, having bought the controlling interest in the Russian oil giant Sibneft for £50 million in 1995; now they are bitter rivals following Berezovsky exile from Russia on charges of attempting to subvert the Putin government.

On Saturday, however, Berezovsky spied Abramovich across the street while shopping at Dolce and Gabbana. Berezovsky ordered the writ retrieved from his car, and attempted to enter Hermes, where Abramovich was at the time. The two tycoons' security forces squared off in the street; in the meantime, Berezovsky was able to slip into Hermes, and, in full view of the store's closed circuit televisions, attempt to serve the writ on Abramovich. Abramovich refused to accept the service, and the papers fluttered to the ground. Berezovsky believes that the CCTV footage will be sufficient to prove that service was made.

No word yet on how the fine alpaca-wool scarves are recovering.