The New York Times to the Rescue!

Denizens of backwater towns, trailer parks, and dirt farms all across the Redneck Nation can relax. The New York Times has taken up this drought story.

Having lived my entire life on the South right side of the Mason/Dixon line, I cannot overstate how nice it is to know that our neighbors to the North are sympathetic to our problems. I truly believe that we are a few more condescending articles from major northern news sources away from licking this nearly 2-year-old drought. If we could only get them to make fun of us for our poverty issues, lack of educational infrastructure, and that wierd habit of parking rusted Fords in our front yards we could become as civilized as the ass-clowns they employ at the New York Times.