Memoirs of a Sorostitute

This week in NYT's "Modern Love" column, Kelly Valen nee Dick recounts why she left -- or was effectively abandoned -- by her sorority and how that experience affected her [in]ability to trust women.

Valen reflects on her unfortunate year in an unnamed sorority. As if the typical classism, group bulimia, coordinated abortions (don't even ask), and the odd barn dance were not enough to make her run, Valen reveals that her first sexual experience occurred while she was unconscious at a "ledge party," which is where a frat brother engages in some form of sexual activity with an unsuspecting coed in a room specially equipped "for the viewing enjoyment of their voyeuristic brethren, who watched from the window’s ledge." (No criminal charges were filed, nor was that discussion even raised.) Though the frat brother was isolated to the point that he decided to drop out of school the following semester, he was the one who made the choice to leave.

Valen, by contrast, was summarily dismissed. Valen's reaction to the rape, being less social and dressing differently, sparked the sort of nastiness that only post-adolescent women can generate: insults, gossip, blame, and the cruel self-righteous hypocrisy only capable of a certain type of sadist. Valen was later expelled for "not being sorority material." She was told of her expulsion as a group of her sisters confronted her--alone--surrounded her, and told her in no uncertain terms that she needed to be out of the house ASAP.

What inspired Valen's piece, a recollection of events twenty years past? She ran into one of her former sisters, one of the pack that had personally kicked her out, while shopping for clothes for one of her daughters, which brought it all tumbling back. The funny thing? Her sorority sister greeted her like they were old friends.

I suppose we all have stories about mean girls and frosty bitches, but I have yet to meet anyone who knows exactly why women do terrible things to other women. And unlike the signs of male bullies such as (arguably) a certain physique and swagger, mean women are not so easy to spot. In my experience, it's usually the ones who are very nice up front who turn out to have the nastiest dark sides -- but maybe this is because you just don't see it coming.

But just to change it up, my question goes out to the guys in the audience...why do women hate other women?

EDIT: Jezebel may have the answer.